Monday, December 19, 2011

The one where I move out.

Time is flying by!

In May I got to move about five times over the course of a month. Un-packing and packing up things again became a way of life for me. Then I moved into my little apartment and stayed until November. Then moved back to my parent's house. And now I am packing up yet again. Hopefully this time for the last time for the next two and a half years. So I can finish up my degree and get my MSW.

However, in the process of moving... I have been getting rid of a lot of things and trying to downsize my collection of material things. And since I love Friends, it reminded me of this episode... As much as I love living with my parents and as great as my apartment was... I can't wait to live with the women at the well! Stay tuned for a post about the new communal living project I will be living in. Hopefully until the end of college! :)

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Resources

I am a girl of resources.

If you ask me at any given moment, I am sure I could find a blog post, an article, or a book on any given topic. I love resources. And to be totally transparent, they have helped me with some very difficult struggles. However, these great resources have also been the source of a great stumbling block.

I look around at the media, the resources if you will... And I sometimes forget to create my own foundation. The more I read, the more I research, the more I wonder what other people would think of me. I get so caught up in the thoughts of others and perfecting myself. I lose sight of what I know to be true.

Lately I have really struggled with that: understanding who I am. Understanding who God is and even knowing if He cares... The past two days God has really spoken to my heart. A heart that has been really beat down and broken.

I have sat confused and in pain for many nights over the past six months... Wondering how God can bring good out of anything in this world. And then the past two days I was given this image, of a little girl on a swing... Swinging without a care in the world, laughing and experiencing joy like no other. It was crazy. Then I read Psalm 103 last night and it says: Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion.

I thought about that: crowns. God crowns you with love and compassion. Do you know who gets a crown? A princess. A princess gets a crown. And GOD crowns us with love and compassion. I visualized that and it's crazy to me.

Then this second part resonated The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;

God doesn't harbor his anger forever. He is abounding in love. These are the truth's about the God who loves us. I have a difficult time forgiving myself. I hold onto anger against myself for days and keep a list of all of the bad things I have done.

However, I serve a God who chooses to forget my sin. He chooses to love me and He is crazy about me. It's such a foreign concept to me. I just don't get it! Hopefully some day, I will... Until then: here I sit trying to just grasp a little concept of the God we serve and love.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

So excited!

For a few years now, I have heard of Donald Miller, and I have read amazing blog posts written by him like this one. That just make me smile and make my heart squeal.

Despite this loose following and suggestions to read some of his books. I haven't had the gumption to pick any of them up. Sometimes I drag my feet reading books that have high reviews... Usually I am not disappointed.

Anyways... Here I am now: picking up one of his books. Which one you might ask? Well, the one that many passionately supported as he has been creating it into a movie. And if you still don't know...

Blue Like Jazz
And I must admit: I am quite excited! Have you ever read any of his books? Any more positive or negative reviews? I would be happy to hear them.