My last night home for a few nights

So I am doing better, I was quite worried.

I went to school today and I am sewing an apron in sewing class right now. It's pretty awesome! Photos to come. :)

I am going to be very busy this weekend doing awesome things with awesome people and spending time with women of God. I am so entirely excited!! Our youth group is taking our girl's on this event. I am psyched!

Then I will be spending Saturday night with my cousin's fiancee and my cousin.

Your homework? Ask me questions!! See my post here about my Q&A session I am doing. I couldn't have possibly blogged about everything!! Well, I do blog about close to it.

Have a fantastic weekend lovelys. Full of worship, happiness, and joy!

Birthday.

Today I am turning 18. So in honor of my 18th year of life I would like to put 18 random facts about myself up because it seems that this is a popular thing to do.

- God is top priority in my life and my drive is given a lot by the force of my faith. I love God with all of my heart and I can't see it any other way. My faith has gotten a lot stronger over the past few years and I have gotten so I can't stand missing church.

- In most of my childhood photos I am dressed up as something either dressing to look like a certain era, or just dressed up and being a ham. I have lots of photos from when I am younger and in all of them I am doing something abnormal. I kind of wonder if I have any that I just smile normal in.

- I absolutely hate starting a new doctor. I hate going there and I hate having them not know anything about me. It stresses me out because I always feel like I am forgetting something.

- Turing 18 is the first age I have felt stressed about turning. I don't want to be 18 for a number of reasons but one being that I won't be a real kid anymore and the bank already sent me a letter saying I was eligible for a new type of bank account.

- I used to be obsessed with keeping my room clean now, I lack motivation to clean my room...

- Painting is my biggest relaxation technique and it calms me down. I haven't found anything else I enjoy doing more- however writing is a close second.

- I absolutely hate crumbs in my bed and will do anything to avoid them even if it means demanding foot washing or changing my sheets at midnight. I need things to be in order.

- Traveling is an awesome thing to do, as long as you're not going to doctors appointments. I hate doctors appointment traveling however I have been out of the country twice to Taiwan and Ireland and I loved it. I hope to go back to Europe again some day. It was beautiful. Taiwan however, not so much but who knows what the future holds.

- I like order and schedule. I would rather have mapped out days and such than a bunch of chaos. I like to know what I am doing in a week advance if it's possible, although many plans don't stick or they fall through last minute.

- Watching the snow fall is one of my favorite activities and I would do it all day if I could, color and watch the snow fall. It's a silent act that's really mesmerizing, thus why I am worried about driving in winter weather.

- When I was younger I used to tell everyone I was going to be a baby doctor. I loved babies and I still do. I find small children to be an amazing thing since we all start as a single cell. The complexity of our minds and everything baffles me. Now at least 14 years later, I am still considering the medical field and I love people.

- Now I see the brain as one of the most interesting things in the body. I can't see it as anything other than something I wonder if we will ever fully understand.

- One of my biggest motivators is my grandmother she was a wonderful woman and I can't imagine what life would be like if I had never met her. She always made me think I could do anything I put my mind to and put a lot of faith in me. She even used to let me cook and peel potatoes and do anything I could to help in the kitchen even if it meant taking a little longer to teach me and watching me cut my finger and learn things the hard way. She never was too busy. I hope if anything I can take the compassion and her love for God, and people and her pace back to my own life.

- I live for the moments I can step out of my comfort zone and overcome something or make myself a better person from an experience. Even just speaking up when I am nervous. However, I think there is a limit that should be put to these moments or else it becomes even more stressful.

- I really am amazed by God and the way he works in people. I think that is awesome and I always am interested to see what his plan is next. I don't agree with his plan 100% of the time and if I was God sometimes I think I would never want anyone to die... However I feel that some of my biggest spiritual growth was when I was hanging on by a thread. Plain and simple God to me is the best thing that ever happened to me and I am in love with him.

- My favorite years of my life were the years spent in elementary school. I loved the wonder I had then and I try to tune back in with that wonder from time to time. I love simple things and I can sit for hours enjoying little things rather than big complex things.

- I am really reliant on my computer and all of the data it stores. I am concerned about how much I use my computer and I kind of hope that I can start to work away from that by the time I turn 19. Hopefully this will be something I fixed over the course of a year. I don't want to adjust to my reliance of the computer though.

- I dislike people who find it their job to be negative. I am all about cheering people up, however I also believe that you have a time that you can be negative but I don't like it if you think it's okay to stay that way for a long time. It really bothers me and I will do anything in my power to let you know I still care about you. I really do love people and I will do my best to give you my undivided attention. If you don't feel like I am giving it to you, you can call me- if I am distracted then, then you know something is wrong with me. I don't usually pick my phone up unless I am ready to talk.

Bonus- One year as a birthday gift.. My twin cousins were born on my birthday. Although at the time I wasn't sure if I was completely thrilled about sharing the date, I absolutely love sharing my birthday with them now. These two little girls are splendid and I love their zest for life and their sweet personalities. Below is a photo of them and their older sister and I the day of my testimony.

Today is my 18th year of life. I am thankful for this year and I am so thankful for the 17th year where I learned a lot about myself. I feel like every year I grow older I am a little more in tune with myself. I am so glad that I have been able to get into my skin and wear out my body a little more this year and I am thankful for everyone in my life. As a birthday present to me- lurkers de-lurk. If you are a reader who has come for awhile and you don't comment, comment. I would love to hear from you! Dad, this means you. :) So to all of the February 4th birthday's Happy Birthday!

Now just for fun because I thought it would be here is my year in review in words- Things that only happen once and happened while I was 17.

Sister moved out and then moved to her own apartment- First steady boyfriend- First surf competition- First time I swam from our cottage to elephant rock, not only facing my fears of seaweed and dark water but also swimming a great amount still being sick and never doing it before- First kiss- First annual Lyme Walk was started by Sarah and I- First time I ever had a problem with chloraprep- First surgery- First time going to camp since I got sick- First small group setting this summer, loved it so much I have a deep passion for making it to my small group at church because I love the setting and the people we have in it.- First time sharing my testimony to others and finding out how much others could care about me. It was an awesome experience and I wouldn't trade it for the world.- First youth pastor I really connected with moved away- Got accepted to my first college- Tackled my fear of public speaking and never looked back.- Found that with God, anything is possible and have learned to pray about everything, still working on the worry about nothing part.- Met one of my cousins who is 30 something for the first time and learned a lot about fishing. I think it's in our blood- Submitted my art and writing to the first contests ever and earned honorable mention on my art, still haven't heard anything about my writing.- Went to my first and maybe only prom I will ever go to- Met my first band in person.- Found my true passion for people and started a lot of things like a Lyme Christmas program and now we're starting a local 501(c)3 program that will be non-profit and can raise money for local activities.

That is my year of firsts and only moments. I am sure there are many more. Celebrate with me, I would love to share cake with you and your family. Go ahead make a cake in honor of the day I turn 18 and share some sugary delight with me! Festivities begin this weekend with a little party this weekend, nothing big just something. (note- if you share cake make sure you let me know so I can see a picture!)

Smiling from the inside out.

Today has been interesting, well this whole week has been kind of side swiping me. I don't know what to think but I have really kind of been happy today. For the most part anyways. I have found that I continue to find good in others and I just really love people so much. I mean I have really found a lot of places I need to work on but I am just really happy because I feel like right now in my life I am really connected with my core and who I am.

I just really find life exciting no matter what happens because we just have so much going on and then just to see the lives of others and how they are changing. I just can't explain how things have changed over the last few weeks but they have. I miss things that used to be constants for me, like hanging out with friends and the people I hung out with but it's comforting knowing they're still there- they just don't keep in touch as much sometimes... I have also started committing to reading at least one verse of the bible every night no matter how tired I am. I even started liking it so much that there is an alarm set on my phone to do so. I am doing it with a friend from church and he's a really neat kid. I like how he thinks so different from me so that we can discuss things and it is just really interesting.

I have seen how much my faith has changed my life even within the last year... I mean I don't feel like I would be anywhere without that to hold on to. My focus has moved away from man and more to God, it's interesting how that works but with reading the bible I have also found that it helps reinforce things I think. (Psalm 146:2&4- Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing.) The scripture spoke a lot to me not only about putting trust in man but also about planning, I mean it basically says our plans come to nothing the day we die. Yet we live in structured society of which says plans must be made, I am not always for living in the moment however how often can we say we trust God with our future? So much that we don't even give it a second thought to talk about it with God?

I am just thinking a lot tonight about so much, I have so much to be thankful for yet there are things that I wish I had back. Things I miss things I desire... I miss my friends most of all and it's hard to think of anything else that I wish I could have back. I really just wonder if they miss me as much as I do them... I also miss the liberties of going out and having fun and living life as a normal teen, like staying out late and not being told that I have medications to take or an IV to do. I guess some things I don't think I will ever get as much, even just a shower today- I had a shower without the needle of my port in and it felt so good... I sometimes wonder if I ever realized how much effort it took to walk or how a shower could feel so absolutely amazing. I almost think you should get the experience of being stuck constantly in a wheelchair or not being able to wash and see how much you can experience and how it feels because it really does give me a whole new perspective.

I don't know where I will be tomorrow or ten years from now, but tonight I am a teenager living a sick persons life and I am ready to go running through the finish line and be done and look back at a race that I can look back and say. Ran hard, Sweat lots, Gave it my all, and Won.

I hope every week from here on out I can find at least one thing to be really thankful for like down in my heart thankful for. This week I am thankful for love of others... I think I will update tomorrow with a post on some other events in my life that just amplify the emotion of love.

This is a post where I give thanks.

This past week has been frustrating and full. It has been overwhelming with what is yet to be done and all the people to contact. My days have been full and my nights are full of sleeping hard because I worked so hard all day that it often pulls into the night hours of getting homework done or doing last minute studying. I am just exhausted. I am starting to realize in this time all of the things I have to be thankful for. I mean I am blessed with so many things and so many huge, huge blessings. I have thought a lot and been talking to a lot of people who inspire me or give me encouragement. I am starting to realize that one of my biggest blessings is my faith. My faith in God and my faith that things will get better, my hope that is strong enough that it gives me a will to help others.

Just a few short weeks ago I was burdened with the thought of me being helpful and hopeful to others. I didn't understand how it was helping me or what it was doing, and to be completely honest I had no idea how I had carried through with so many tasks of speaking kindly and why things were turning leaves the way they were. I didn't understand it. So as I was talking to my youth pastor I was saying I don't know how I did it. I was ready to throw in the towel because it seemed every place I turned the corner there was someone to turn to me and rip down my self esteem question what I believed, or divulge me in so many questions. I didn't understand their questioning and I just felt wouldn't it be nice, if I could see things the way God does. I had a hard time with what was going on and I just wanted to show people and let them see things through my eyes. I wish they knew is all I could think, and soon in the days that followed I felt peaceful and now I am feeling a little calmer. It has been hard and it has been heart breaking and the stress of school, doctors appointments, and the scope that have followed have been stressful on me as well. But now more than ever I realize I have so much to be thankful for.

I am blessed with my creativity and thinking outside of the box because without it, I wouldn't have put together my Christmas Wish List for others and this holiday season would have been a little dimmer. Not only for the people who are getting gifts, but for me as well because I have felt great joy just hearing of their happiness and content. Letting them know that people do care and have found it in their hearts to take the time to send them a package. I am so glad I came up with that idea.

I also have found that even though I don't understand things or even if it is really confusing- that things have a way of becoming clearer. I don't really get a lot that happens and when I do get it a new meaning surfaces later on. Yet, it has been something I am learning it's okay. I am so very grateful for the gifts I have received in the mail already, I have tried to encourage others to buy for the Lymies on my wish list if they can- ignoring my wants and reaching out to others. Just because I feel like it would be a three way gift and benefit all parties involved. I am very thankful for everyone who has contributed to the Lymie Christmas this year.

I am also thankful for the things like my sight, my ability to walk, talk and have an opinion that counts. I am thankful that I am heard. It is so heartbreaking for me to look into other countries and see how women are treated and this year I have seen so many things change in our country in the vision of women and the views of so many other things that I am thankful that I am here. I am glad that I have had "character building" experiences whatever they may have been they have shaped me and changed me for the better. This is just one of those posts that I want to say thank you, thank you for reading, praying, thinking of me when times are tough and sharing your story and walking along side me in this path that we call life. I appreciate it, and I hope that I will be back to posting more frequently this upcoming week- however, if I am not- I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas and a Healthy and Happy New Year. Christ is really the reason for the season this year and I hope knowing there is something more to life that you find peace above all else, this holiday season and in the upcoming new year- through the financial burden that has been placed upon so many homes.

Twas the first day of Christmas...

This season has been everything but peaceful! I have been busy every night of the week and holding on by my pant legs to get everything caught up. Dot my i's and cross my t's! Packages were to be sent homework stacked high as I missed each day I missed. I am sorry for my lack of updates. Last week was difficult and this week will be a race of the fittest to see how much back work I can make up in 5 days. Complete with a photography photo shoot and a bunch of other stuff. I hope to slow down next week when we have off school and I can make priorities and finish portfolio work for college. I have a self portrait to get done and my still life to finish! Plus studying for multiple tests and working my butt off.

I come to you with even more prayer. I have a good friend Meghan Marks that her family's house burnt down this past weekend. I feel so bad and am a wreck about it. Their family has been nothing but good. Her mother also has Lyme disease and she is a wonderful girl. I am trying to think of what I can do for this family. My heart breaks for them as they enter the holiday season with little money to be found. All of the members of the family made it out of the house safely and now we're working on making the holiday a little brighter and hopefully coming together as a community. I am thinking about "selling" one of my paintings to honor this family like you buy chances for $3 and get it. Above is a sample of my paintings. Each painting of mine comes with a story and I would post a photo then it would go for around a month or so. If someone has ever done something like this and would be able to give me some insight. I am hoping to help their family. Another hardship to overcome! Prayers are appreciated.

Victoria

The Update.

Things have been kind of crazy the past few days. I have been in a lot of pain and my body feels weak. I went to school yesterday and stayed home today and went to a doctors appointment for my stomach and that's where I was informed I would be having a scope done tomorrow. The doctor seemed a lot better than my previous doctor and receptive about the care. I am grateful for doctors like him and I am hoping to be back in school on Thursday. What a week this is going to be. It has been a lot of physical aches and pain and the mental stress of everything. It is so overwhelming going to school and trying to get everything caught back up. I don't even know how to deal with it lately. Sorry this was a place to vent more than a place to spread good cheer but one thing is brought clear tonight. I got a frame with a bible verse in it and it's Psalm 37:23-24. The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the LORD holds them by the hand. For now that is what rings true. Below are some random facts about me. I know there are some numbers missing. I don't know where they went. Thanks Kelsey.

RULES: There are 100 statements and you bold the ones you have done. Grab it and play for yourself!!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disney World
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept in an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill I go to doctors appointments all the time when I feel like I might have been strong enough to go to school.
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chicken pox
89. Saved someones life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

Giving it all to you.

So I went back to school today first time back in about 3 weeks or so. It was really nice to be back to school. I love going back and seeing people I love them in all their germs and glory even if it does mean working and losing more strength and energy than the other kids I attend school with. Even if they can't relate I just love going to school... It is the biggest challenge and the greatest reward it makes me tired and weary and it makes me feel rusty and old but it's the greatest thing seeing people seeing happiness seeing struggle. Seeing other people my age. I wouldn't change my day at school even if it does leave me worn out. God gives me a body to use not to preserve. Tonight I just am really happy to be here and I wanted to just write about something that laid heavy on my heart tonight.

Don't take the time you have here for granted, don't take the relationships you have here for your personal use. For before too long the days that were seeming so long will quickly slip between your finger tips. Yeah, hours will turn to minutes days to hours and before you know it your life will be quickly fading away. I don't know what to say other than I am so glad that you're here now and today. I am so thankful for so many people and for the next while I am going to be spot-lighting again.

Tonight my Spot- light is on my dad.

My dad is a guy of few words, or many and he can really make me think. Sometimes I don't really get what he's saying and sometimes he gets me really confused. But one thing I know for sure, is that he loves me. It might be confusing at times but I know that he has been there at the hospital when I have had to go in he has been there listening to my cries call out and I know he will be there any day I am on unconscious. My dad is a person I look up to- he lost his father at about this age and I cannot even imagine the pain or suffering that causes. I can guess or try to think of it but I will never really know. He showed strength he emptied bed pans and helped out around the house he was the youngest he was strong willed. I think he holds a lot of his mother within his heart. He is good to others, he shows compassion to others, and he has a strong spirit. My grandmother is one of my biggest role models today. I am so glad I practically lived at her house growing up and I am so thankful my parents blessed me with that time with her. I remember distinctly a night, my dad asked me if I wanted to go to the babysitters or his mothers the next day- knowing I would get to see other kids my age I said the babysitters and I remember him getting mad at me. I didn't understand why he was mad but now, looking back upon it I know something I didn't know then. Time is limited time is not bought and time is not a gift, our days here are numbered and I should handle them as though they are something wonderful because that it truly is. The days I spent wasting away hours I wish I could have learned more from people like her. It just reminds me there is so much still yet to learn especially from my elders. I can't thank my dad enough for being at my bedside for holding my hand for giving me a stern word or two and showing his way through. I am really glad my dad is my dad and I wouldn't trade him for the world. He has instilled a taste of music within me and he has shown me that with a little courage I can do absolutely anything. He will put his job on the line to be with his family and he has surrendered all he has. I guess, sometimes we're blind to these things but he taught me one thing for sure I know that the all mighty dollar does not come over relationship. Never will and never should. I am so very blessed with the people in my life especially my dad. He is a wonderful man he really is. So dad, here's to you, thanks. You're really great and all the nice comments you read on here, yeah dad that's to you too because you raised me with a stern tone and a pat on the back. I am so every thankful for you dad.

Thankful for Hope

Today I couldn't decide what to narrow my thanks down to, you know you are really blessed when there is enough good to not be able to choose! I am so thankful today, of hope and all it has for me all of the things it offers and the people it provides. I am thankful every day for the people I consider my "hope" and the God who provides it. I have a lack of words today as I think of all that I have had provided to me and what I am going to busy myself with in the upcoming year.

There is another thing that rings true to me and that is school. I am very thankful for school and my school in particular, even though sometimes I argue with people or I get frustrated with who I am dealing with I am thankful I have a school system which provides enough schooling for everyone in a township, and can even provide college for free through the high school for quite a few classes. I am thankful that we have this freedom because in so many other countries this freedom is stripped from the people who live there. I guess without an education we wouldn't really be able to communicate or hope because we really wouldn't know what was going on. Perhaps we would be as defenseless as the next person- I am not really sure because for as long as I can remember here in the U.S. we have had some sort of requirement for school. Whether seasonal for some or all year around we had school. I guess I am really thankful for that. Sometimes I can't go and I do miss it like crazy, you meet people you learn how to work with others apply teamwork skills and it really does prepare you for the real world.

So I guess going to school really is a blessing.

I ask- what are you thankful for?

In the Belly of the Beasts by Friday!

Hey Book group and others!

This week we're going to move on to chapter 12 which is in the belly of the beasts. How do you guys like the book so far? What are your thoughts of papa? Is this what you expected would happen? How have you viewed God up to this point and is this book opening your mind and broadening what you see for eternal life? Just some thoughts... I think personally the book has really opened me up to be more accepting of different thoughts and how it looks because we will never really know, it's really interesting to read and see what Mack is experiencing. What are your thoughts?

Monday I went on a college visit to Roberts Wesleyan college. At first by going I wasn't sure of the campus and how I would like things after visiting the school all I can say is wow! It was not what I expected at all and I am filling out another application. They have an awesome psych program and I am really interested in what they have to offer. They seemed really open about things and the tour was amazing. Although I didn't think the tours really had that much weight on the school I realized how much the tour I took at Houghton was lacking. Although the tour at Roberts was lead by an admissions counselor and the one at Houghton was lead by a student and I think that also plays a huge role. Both schools have very unique things to offer a student and the ratio's are both 14:1. I think I will be back at Roberts to see the classroom setting and what the classes are like. So far it is ranked highly in my book and if you're thinking about majoring in psych I would definitely check out this campus!

This very thrilling process of going through the college search is very interesting and challenging. I am excited to be able to start a new chapter in my life but nervous of all of the change yet to come. Last night I got home from school so tired I went to bed at 5 waking up later to just head back to bed a few hours later. During the time I was awake I realized I have so much work to be done and so little time to complete it! There is a Lyme Walk meeting to be planned for this Friday, college application to be filled out and scholarships to apply for. Let alone catching up with my classes at school because I missed four days of school last week. I am hoping to have the final draft of my book done or pretty near done by December. So for all of you who love my blog, I am hoping to complete a book with work from the blog by next year.

This all is such a crazy experience and you only get to be a senior once. I have heard from so many people that senior year was their favorite and I guess their comments don't leave me guessing why! I am starting to really love it too. Although it is so intense and there is so much work to be done it's just one year off from starting something completely different and life changing.

If you would like to come to the Lyme Walk meeting and be part of this years planning committee it's this Friday at 6:30 at the Big Flats Community Center. For more information about the Lyme Walk, or to get on our e-mailing list about upcoming events and latest news... Please e-mail us at lymesucks2@yahoo.com and we will get back to you.

Have an awesome week and I hope you all enjoyed your long weekend!

Victoria

P.S. This week I would like to ask you to pray for the Wyand family. I haven't talked to them in a very long time but- like me Fahris is also starting back to school after being out for a very long time. She is a young lady full of spunk and fight. I am really glad that I got to meet their family and I would just ask if you have a few moments to find her blog (it's listed under the other journeys on the left hand side of this page.) This families journey of faith and courage is really inspirational and I know after leaving the hospital it can be very difficult to remember that you're still in people's prayers and thoughts. So if you could just pray for their family that would be awesome. Thanks!

Crazy!

Although things have been hectic I am settling into going to school and enjoying most every day of the week! I have been having a hard time keeping up with the pace of school but things are finally starting to pan out. I have been making work up since what seems forever. I keep catching nasty colds and having bouts of illness throughout everything. Although hopefully this will just boost my immune system for later on. Like going off to college! As I have looked back on previous comments and posts and I got a very thought provoking comment- from someone who I shall keep their identity unknown. They left their e-mail to have me respond back as to why all of their comments had been deleted. Now their comment has laid heavy on my heart for days and it has been awhile since I have posted mainly trying to decide how to approach this comment. Now upon deleting comments I usually read them and try to grasp their comment and I feel if anyone else is wondering why their comment has been deleted look at the below list of things that could be included as to why your comment did not stay posted on the page:

1. If your tone of your comment is rude, hurtful, or putting down in any way to either me or others.
2. The comment has personal information included in it such as a telephone number, e-mail address or screen name.

I feel that the comments I have removed have been removed for a personal reason and I don't feel it needs further discussion. It is my blog and I will add or remove information as I see put.

Health wise I have been getting better I feel. I have been off antibiotics for a week now and feel about the same I will be going on some supplements as of next week but the amount of medications I take will be considerably lower. I can only give praise to God for my health slowly being returned. I am very confident about going away to college next year and the stepping blocks of becoming a normal teen once again!


Book club! I want to hear your opinions! I know I didn't update but I was hoping if you didn't talk to me you would continue on to chapters 5&6 we will now move on to chapter 10 this week. If getting to that point is difficult to anyone please let me know! I want to hear from all of you though! If you're interested in reading another similar book and if you have any suggestions for the next book. I personally would like to read another Christian based book. If anyone has a book that they couldn't put down or one they have heard fantastic reviews about please let me know so I can consider it. I hope to hear what you all think and if you would like, let's all guess the future of what will happen next and the moments in the shack! I hope you enjoy the book and are keeping up!

Have a fantastic week and Happy reading!

Also- hope you all are staying HEALTHY during this horrible flu and cold season!

Victoria

An update

I wish I carried good news of great health and wonderful days of school in this update-
However I carry none of the above today.

Friday I was planned to go on a retreat with the youth group for church. A little later that evening after un-packing and making my bed we went to worship somewhere in that time of worship and bright lights I fell sick with a headache and went to bed. Later on in the evening I ended up having around what I believe were to be eight seizures and I was hospitalized for that night into the early hours of the morning. Crushing the plans of going back to the retreat the seizures had really beat me down and caused lots of pain and agony. So I came home to find retreat in my bed for all day Saturday sleeping.

Sunday came around quickly and it my only wish was to go to church and my plans were to come home and finish off my homework to be prepared for school the next day. Although Sunday after weeks of dark stool and now another bought of vomiting I wasn't prepared to go to school. After finally getting in contact with my LLMD there has been talk of bleeding in my stomach. Now Thursday I am still in bed and have been vomiting all week, sore and very weak.

So through Monday- Thursday they took me off almost all meds with the exception of a stomach medication and seizure medications to lighten any load on my GI tract. They have not really done anything otherwise. Of course when you can finally get a hold of your doctor a state away with an idea of getting a scope done in your stomach your local family physician doesn't have time for you until the following week. So my appointment for my PCP is Monday and hopefully then some more answers will be found and we will have more ideas. The pain seems never ending lately and my stomach hasn't settled through the week.

As for school- I have been e-mailing my teachers in hopes of keeping up with the class and not falling behind. I have worked when I can but the work time is short and the rest is great.

Today I am supposed to get a wisdom tooth out they plan on pulling the wisdom teeth out one by one. My jaw has been in quite a bit of pain so upon my visit to the dentist I plan on asking if that is just the wisdom teeth coming in or if it is something he should give attention to now since none of my wisdom teeth have really given me any trouble other than the initial popping through the gums.

So with the up's and down's of health and confusion of the medical world here I am. They do believe the seizures were brought on by the an underlying medical condition and that there is something further going on than what is seen to the naked eye. So hopefully the stomach problems will be answered and we can all have peace of mind.

Our family is also grasping at the bit with other treatment options and potentially trying a rife machine we have pretty much exhausted my GI tract for now and we're searching for other options. The other night on a teen Lyme chat I did talk to one girl who has a rife machine but she has never used it so she doesn't know how effective it is and she is going to try to contact the previous owner's family to find out if it worked. We all are just searching for answers and I am hoping and praying that I can head back to school as soon as possible. It has crushed me to be out of school this week and the agony of a homeschooling basis is already making me think of alternative routes to get back into the groove once again.

This post and update was brought for those who do follow my health and things going on with us on the home front. I just got a comment asking for an update and I thought I would send one out.

I have gotten one call asking if they can do anything right now for our family and my only request is prayer. I have put all of this in God's hands and I will continue to do so. So if you are of any religion or denomination please join any other person in praying for healing or relief in what is going on.

As for the book group: It is still going! I am sorry I haven't updated for that either this week. What a way to end the first two chapters! What are your thoughts about his little daughters in the tent? The author has a knack for writing and I will write some more questions later on and as we get going further! Please feel free to continue to comment.

Thanks for your concern!

Victoria

School is starting life is about to be normal. Or so I hope.

Well school has started and I am on my fourth day. I have been enjoying classes. I am happy that I have been able to be in the swing of things at least this far. Since I haven't been able to get back into the blogging groove as of lately. I am starting a new thing for my readers and I. As of today I am starting the "blogging book club". As of today I am starting a book club with my blog readers. We will start reading our first book "The Shack" by: William P. Young on September 15,2008. A week from today. So I encourage you to join us for this start of blogging book club! If you're interested in reading and would like to introduce yourself leave a comment under this post and try out the commenting. We're going to be discussing the books on comments under each post. I hope you will join me on this different twist to my blog!

I will be back September 15th! Get your copy of "The Shack"!

Victoria

Hello?

Hello?

Do I still have a few readers?

How do you do today?

I hope all is well in the states across the U.S. and around the world!

I know it has been a long time since I updated. 

Oh where to begin, oh where to begin.

Days have been upward and downward and filled with summer breeze.

I got to go to a surf competition in North Carolina. Where I met a very inspirational family. The Silvagni family has shown me the light of yet another family who finds the comfort of blood bonds between one another during adversity. The older brother in the family was diagnosed with Lyme disease and since that day they have had a fight to give Andrew the best treatment possible. Upon giving good treatment comes a good amount of doctor bills of course. So Tony the younger brother has started Surf Competitions to support his brother and the financial need of his medical state. As Mrs. Silvagni stated she hopes "that some day this competition can help other families like her own." At the competition you saw not just a family but the town of Kure Beach, NC band together for this family. It was truly amazing to see the connection of people and how they worked together to make a huge competition be a success for all. Fun and Lyme in the same sentence is rare but that weekend it was common and seen across Carolina Beach. That's not all Tony was doing that weekend- he had opened his home to many and led them into the world as he knows it he gave us a place to stay and showed us true southern hospitality. I was impressed to say the least but Silvagni isn't a little known name in the world of surfing and although Tony may have been named one of the top surfer's in the United States he holds his ties to home and his genuine compassion to those around him. It was an awesome weekend and I encourage you to read more at their local paper Island Gazette. Congratulations to the Silvagni family on a third successful year for their surf competition.

Just after that weekend I started tutoring like mad for the World History Regents Exam that I would have to take on August 13th. After a morning of turning ill and vomiting I went to the test with studying behind me and eyes on getting at least a passing grade. And the verdict is- I passed! So on to Senior year I can go and hopefully I will be entering the school with my head held high and my health turning to a brighter side.

Then just after that Jake planned a surprise party for my return to school with close friends and the love and support of family it was an encouragement to see everyone before starting school in just a few weeks. It was a selfless act he did just days before he went away to school and boy did he surprise me and I think it was known to all with a scream that they received as everyone jumped up in the air. Then laughter and good times filled the evening and it was known to all that Senior year was only beginning!

Just a few days ago yet another change came upon me with Jake off to college and into the world of dorms and excitement! You can track his roommate Matt and him here. Where they share the frustrations and curiosity of two country kids venturing off into the city of Pittsburgh, PA as two graphic design majors. When one door shuts another door opens. It is turning into a fast paced week this week as the summer months wind down to weeks and what just seems like yesterday everyone was getting out of school and excited for summer everyone is entering back into the same building. With a new auditorium renovation and the crisp college ruled paper we all are returning to another year of high school. For some it's only the beginning and for me it's going to be my final year there. 

It's interesting how school goes here in the United States, if you're like many of the families that I grew up with staying in the small town setting and raising a family is what they're all about. So as time passed the kid you hated in kindergarten ended up being in your class at least 4 times by the time you had reached sixth grade. You were forced to know these kids and know the families by the time you had reached sixth grade. Heck by the time you had reached sixth grade you knew all the kids you were going to school with, most of the teachers in the building, and the principal, nurse, and every single lunch lady. You are forced to know them. Then seventh grade comes along and your pushed into middle school meeting new kids but still staying isolated to a degree with a separation of kids onto "teams" so you got a chance to have your 4 core classes with the same kids and you got to know them for two years. Then ah to High School the end of the destination where you have your final school with many of those same kids you attended elementary school with. You shared laughs, memories, times of both good and bad, babysitters and maybe even a pacifier or two. Our schools have forced many of us to become very close friends and family and for the first time in many of our lives in June we will take a step that we have never taken before. We will walk away from our small towns and villages and walk into the United States dispersing across the U.S. and maybe even across the globe- only holding one common bond as classmates of the graduating class of 2009.

It's going to be interesting and boundaries of school walls are no longer as we all look into the future- college and career paths. To the Army, to the workforce, to a trade of some sort, we are the future. 

With that being said,

I go to visit my first college this Friday and I am excited to say I am looking into majoring in Physical Therapy. 

I hope to be feeling better by Friday and shaking the bug that has been lingering within me. 

Looking towards the future and a more consistent blog format once again,

Victoria

Taking a Moment to think... For all you new people- instead of going back and reading every post here is a current update on why this blog came to be

In July of 2005 my life changed- had we known then what we know now we may not be in the situation we are in today. Although here we are pushing forward pushing on.

I was bit by a tick and had a typical bull's eye rash. Through the ignorance of the doctor in the ER I was placed on the wrong antibiotic and no blood tests were taken for Lyme disease. Just weeks later I had my first seizure episode on a missions trip in PA around 5 hours away from home without my parents. From that seizure I developed other symptoms including but not limited to extreme fatigue, constant headaches, and flu-like symptoms.

This was the beginning of my Freshman year and the beginning of Lyme disease treatments after a battery of blood tests I was diagnosed with Lyme disease and had the minimal treatments for the disease.

From then on I was 'cured' from Lyme and all the surrounding fears we had of it. We thought I was going to be back to normal back to regular days hanging out back to being me.

A wake up call came my Sophomore year when at the beginning of the year I started feeling "off" things weren't adding up right and I was struggling in my classes. I collapsed in school in December I was quite sick and we didn't know what could be wrong. Running more blood tests and finding nothing I had the doctors surrounding me baffled and it took the local cardiologist to help with getting me to a Lyme specialist who diagnosed me with Lyme for the second time. What a huge answer to my difficulties in school my slipping in and out and confusion along with seizures, extreme fatigue, pain, and back to back ear and eye infections. Who would've known what that diagnosis would've lead to. Through that time I learned that anything is possible through at home tutoring and the faithful work of your guidance counselor and teachers. Although very tired and weak most of the time I started going back to school 1/2 days by April of my Sophomore year, went on a spring break trip to Florida with the school marching band and things seemed to begin to clear up.

Little did I know in June I would be back in the hospital with another 'episode' resulting in a short stay in NYC where no real diagnosis would be made. We were searching for answers throughout the summer and I was placed on IV by July of Summer of 2007. But during that summer another dream was born. Lyme Walk- For those who can't. A Lyme disease awareness walk that my friend Sarah and I decided would become a reality for what more did we need than for others to realize what I had gone through.

Junior year I was starting out well with ending the summer at band camp and joining the marching band for pre-week. I was excited to finally be getting back to my "normal" life and started school. Within the first week I realized I wouldn't be able to hold my own day in and day out and began missing school around twice to three times a week. I was exhausting myself by going to school. So I decided I would be willing to give up anything to go to school. And started using a wheelchair to get around school. Now if having a weird sock around your upper arm wasn't enough now having a wheelchair really raised questions among my peers. Although I tried to answer them each to the best of my ability. Truth be known it wasn't pure laziness but it was pure exhaustion that was really making me sick.

By October I was doing okay in school traveling across the state and out of state for doctors appointments and I was trying my best to hold my own with my grades to be able to make it to the marching band championships. I would only meet myself half way there maintaining decent grades but missing championships due to another seizure the night of one of our marching band practices. I was bummed out. I ended up being transferred to Rochester about an hour away to another "better" hospital for my treatment. I stayed there for a month meeting some of the most inspirational people but not really getting any answers.

October turned into November and before I knew it I was home back where I belonged after a very long tiring and stressful stay in the hospital. I missed my friends I missed my family and I missed the comfort of my own home.

After that I decided to give school another fair shake with trying to go back after Thanksgiving break. With only another seizure during my last class of the day- I was quickly transferred to Rochester with a scare where I quit breathing in the ambulance on the way up getting taken to another local hospital during the transfer.

Within just a few days of being in the hospital I was released with no problems- or so we all thought. I went to stand with lap top in hand and fell almost dropping my computer. I couldn't walk and had lost feeling in my legs. This was just another hurdle to overcome. I was in my wheelchair and not seeing very much improvement I was pretty upset but trying my best to adjust to his lifestyle. By Christmas I had pushed and got myself walking with a walker! Which was a huge improvement to my lifestyle.

And yet again I became ill February brought new stepping stones to step on. I turned 17 and I was working my hardest to get back on my two feet. Looking forward to prom which was months away but gave me something to hope for. I began seeking more inside my bible and worked harder and also started the blog for the new year. Although things took twists and turns and I fell quickly out of sight.

I ended up in the hospital and then later in ICU in a medically induced coma from seizures. After that date it was confirmed I was having seizures and I was medically diagnosed with some form of seizure disorder. Those days were filled with hospital stays and as soon as I would be on my feet a little more I would be knocking down the doors of the ER on a stretcher. With another scare and the removal of my gall bladder.

Through the nightmarish days there has been some clarity- I walk now without assistance and I made it to prom. Things that we never thought would be possible. I have come a long way from days filled with hospital stays. Although the pain is ever so present my lungs have not completely recovered and so many other things still linger. I can look back upon these 3 years and say- I have come a long long way.

Although this isn't every detail that happened over these past three years this pretty much sum's it all up. I cannot say every needle poke or MRI or CT scan I have had but my arms can sure vogue for some of them. Through 4 picc line's and now a port. My life has changed but I cannot complain because it has been for the better. For "Out of Adversity comes Awareness"- Marissa Angell.

Hope you stop back soon I try to update the blog frequently!

Victoria

Behind that Face.

Behind that face comes a lot of teen things don't get me wrong...
In a world of normalcy there has to be some upset to make you grateful for what you have to feel blessed for the days you live and complete with the desires within.

Tonight- I looked through my journal and I am writing about the things that don't make it to the blog.

Butterflies in my stomach, giggling at the computer screen, and laughing so much more when he's around. I am noticing I have a whole new hope today a whole new perspective something I didn't think could be came to be. Now I am learning things a different way.

Prom is nearing and now is a week away things like a boutonniere and nails, and hairstyles are not a fantasy any longer but now a reality. Prom is coming I have a date perfect in my eyes and perfect for me! Excitement fills my heart as I get ready for the big night and all our schedules are planned around May 17th in the days coming before... Making sure I don't do too much the night before resting as much as I can and taking care of my body as I always do.

Studying is especially hard for me these days I have read the same page for 2.5 weeks, picking up the book to study some more realizing I am no further in the chapter but I don't know what I've read. It's difficult because I don't even remember what I said just hours ago on the phone with my boyfriend... How can it be? I hope he doesn't see- that I am not 100% me!

School papers are being written at a slow steady pace things are being done but not quick enough for me. Slowing down is difficult when there are deadlines to be met and goals to accomplish. Sometimes it's just a little too hard to keep things at ease when they aren't at ease at all.

Behind this teenage face comes so much more than a disease- So for those of you who do not know me but come to this blog for one reason or another, for hope, encouragement, an update of some sort here is a teenage way of putting things about me-

I like to...

Paint
Write
Laugh
Help others
Sing
Talk
Finger Paint
Babysit
Run
Eat ice cream- my favorite is soft serve twist with rainbow sprinkles!
Take pictures
Read
Learn
Rollerblade

I Dislike...

Ignorance
The sound of an emery board
nails on a chalk board
Being competitive
Misunderstandings
Distance

A fast track on the last week-
I have been okay.
Not doing great and struggling with a lot of things. Eating still isn't a top priority to me now more than ever it seems I have been fluctuating with my weight and it's frustrating to see. We're getting some things under control while other things go completely out of control. I am so blessed with the people around me and I am encouraged by others on a daily basis. It's exciting to see my life unfold. Although scary to think what could be next.

I was graced with the song "Gratitude" by Nichole Nordeman

Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)
We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed"
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)
We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need
So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You please . . .

This song got me a thinking- If I can't have my 100% health I do have the health I have and I cannot take that for granted for I must keep pushing on and keep what I do have in tip top shape to prepare for whatever may come my way. For God may not send what I ask for but he will send what he believes I need. There has been not a day that I have not had a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, or food on the table and for this I am blessed.

Good Night!

Victoria

Spot-Light
You. Whoever you may be tonight you're in the spot-light. You are in the spot-light for listening to my thoughts to this point to be at the end of the blog and showing your support through reading my blog. Thank you for coming here thank you for being here and the numbers on my little counter show- people are visiting here! I invite you who lurk in the shadows of blog world to come out and say hello! Introduce yourself. Here's to a formal invitation to say hello! :)

Re-Vamp of the blog

A few of my friends said my blog needed some re-vampin' so today I went on a quest to re-vamp my blog. So now with a new format and basic color for all of the posts... I have re-vamped the blog. This was pretty confusing for me so don't expect it to happen again! haha

The winter days are quickly passing and I can only hope that warm weather will be here soon to ease the aching joints and bring spring delight! I can't wait to see the tulips bloom again and soon the pot garden we are beginning will be able to sit outside in their pots and bearing vegetables of all sorts. For those of you who don't know- as a symbol of new beginning I have started a salsa garden and let me tell you the Roma tomatoes are growing like nobody's business. I hope to add some herbs and other veggies to our little indoor garden but right now I do believe we're working on 7 different types of seeds and they seem to be growing well. I will post pictures in another few days.

Physical Therapy was yesterday- and get this: I ran out of sweatpants!! So I couldn't really go with my work out gear in jeans so I decided that I would wear super cool socks instead and that's just what I did. Although I have some plans for the upcoming session tomorrow and it has been confirmed that I do have clean sweatpants for the event. Although I am improvising a bit due to the fact that I don't have a head sweatband but oh it shall be good. I also finally gave my physical therapist my blog site so she could check it out... So now she's probably reading this either approving or disapproving of all I have said about her. I am sure I will hear about it. :) We may even have to take a photo of the get up from tomorrow's session. That's just how good it's going to be. I have been progressing well- she has taught me how to walk with a cane and yesterday my dad took me to the store and we got a pretty fancy blue cane with white flowers on it. So I can practice around the house. Although I am noticing when I get tired that the walker is very handy to have because the cane isn't giving me enough support. But I am getting stronger which excites me.

We have yet to hear back from the doctor... He is trying to create a plan for us and we were told we should have it by Tuesday night- here we are it's Wednesday and we do not have a plan. So I am not sure about the IV things but I am going to the infusion center now and they have set it up to go through there rather than Pediatrics. So that's the plan at the moment since I do not have an official one I think that's the plan anyway. :-P

Things have been so chaotic I have been overwhelmed with my own life and any friends that are still talking to me I am amazed... Because it has just been so up and down. ER visits, hospital time, doctors appointments, Chiropractor appointments, and Physical Therapy. I am at the hospital every night now, I have to go to Owego 2 times a week right now for the Chiropractor, and I have Physical Therapy 3 times a week, plus my PCP throws in appointments at least every week or every other week it seems... So for those of you who thought it was a lot of sleeping being me- it's becoming more and more car rides and lots of appointments.

More than ever in my life I miss my old life and being sick is just kind of wearing on me... Mostly I think because I have lost contact with a lot of friends that I was talking to to frequently because I used to be the first person to contact them and now that I rely upon others to contact me... They don't really do it as much. And I don't have the time to sit down and actually think about calling people plus the service in the hospital is horrible. I guess you're not even supposed to be using your cell phone in the hospital but no one has ever said anything to me...

S0 that pretty much sum's up what has been going on lately. I am preparing to talk to a class the 26th (next Wednesday) as a favor for one of the teachers at school. Which I am excited about plus it will get my butt out of bed a little earlier.

My Spot-light Person for the day-
is continued from the other day. Jessica Stevens- This girl deserves two days of being spot-lighted and also needs lots of prayers. She has helped us immensely with my walk with Lyme and has become a close friend of mine. She is very confident in her faith with the Lord and despite her being so sick she has been able to continue with a positive attitude... She just had her 20th birthday this past January and she continues to fight on despite doctors saying she probably never will walk again and she is probably the worst case of Lyme I have ever heard of. She has so many problems but they don't stop her and she has kept on no matter what. And she gives me even more of a reason to fight for awareness and gives me a reason to keep getting better. She is such an awesome girl I can't say enough good about her! But most of all please pray for her- she is in the hospital and she's going through some very very complex procedures that are rarely used. Thanks for your support!

Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine and have a wonderful day,

Victoria

I am long overdue for the next update. So here it is. Things over the past month have been hectic and creating long days for all of us! I started going back to school and survived the first two days just fine after a very busy weekend going to school on Monday just wasn’t an option. I went Tuesday and by Tuesday night was feeling ill again. So upon our doctors’ appointment on Thursday it was suggested that I no longer go to school. I was pretty bummed out. That Friday I had a horrible allergic reaction to my medication I was on after being on it for months, building up a drug resistance. So as planned I switched to amoxicillin. As I started that I was also able to attend school for 3 hours two days in a row to take my regents exams for English. With that I was able to see friends and the lovely nurses who always provide me with the best of care! The next day I was able to start tutoring again for school and was greatly excited to get back on my game.

The next day (a Friday) I was having extreme stomach pains and not being able to sleep due to the pain. I was absolutely exhausted and felt like I was being attacked from all angles of my body. I didn’t know what to do next! We called the doctor and he said I should stop taking the amoxicillin for the weekend. I had also been noticing hives and skin rashes while I was on this and now it is thought I could be potentially allergic to the amoxicillin. What a weekend! Bringing us to present: I had a phone appointment with my doctor in Armonk and he suggested a new neurologist to look over the case and see what he had to offer. Because of my considerably weakened stomach they do not believe oral antibiotic treatment is feasible at this time and they are thinking about IV treatment and a follow up with my Primary was suggested as well. Now there is talk of either a port or another picc line and long term IV treatment due to all of the complications with the oral and the fact I may be allergic to another commonly used oral antibiotic. Which is a little discouraging to us due to the fact we all are getting sick of me being sick and striving so hard to get better! Now I am starting to feel a little lousier everyday and I am feeling weak and tired and just wanting to lie in bed again. Hopefully they will pinpoint a new treatment and I will be able to feel like myself again soon.

Again, I apologize for my lack of writing but it’s really due to the fact I don’t want to write when I am feeling horrible and just not up to telling everyone how yucky I feel day in and day out. Hopefully I will be finding my hope and strength to write more and update frequently.

Hoping all of you are doing well,
Victoria

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

So, I guess if I am going to have a blog to inform people... Maybe I should update it a little more frequently than I do. I apologize for that. It takes so long for me to actually focus on the blog I find little time to actually do it. Ah well, here I am to update.

The hustle and bustle of Christmas and the holiday season is coming to a close alas. I found myself with one of the most rewarding and exciting Christmas' in my whole life. I am truly blessed with the love and compassion that over fills this household and I am so glad that I have such a great support system.

Well, I will go on chronological order thanks to my trusty cellular device I have the exact events that occurred each day since the 19th.

On the 19th, I visited the school playing my part as Santa Claus although I did not come decked out in a red suit or a burly white beard I did however bring gifts. Delivering them to the nurses office and my Art teacher and getting to see my Art class was extremely exciting. I stayed for about 45 minutes and then made my way home, we got a little worried after seeing the nurse run down the hall with a wheelchair and the bright orange bag. Things are never good when you see the nurse running! That night was pretty uneventful...

The next day the 20th, I got to go see the little boy I babysit in his school concert. What a laugh! It was quite humorous and I couldn't help but giggle at all of the children up there singing and well being goofy with the over dressed little girls and the ADHD little boys it was completely hysterical. Then I was caught with two unplanned surprises after the holiday concert! I was hobbling my way to the front door as a caravan of cars approached my house... Now I thought to myself this can't be for me because Ashley only said she had a and I quote small surprise. But yes her and her church came to sing me Christmas carols and delivered me a plate of delicious Christmas cookies. That was a first having carolers come to my door. Then Sarah brought me a beautiful necklace, by far my favorite Christmas gift of all! It was absolutely heartwarming to receive such a thoughtful gift and knowing it came from my whole lunch table back at school I was very grateful and I feel truly blessed as I have said before to have such a wonderful group of friends. Then I went to bed knowing the true meaning of utter exhaustion. (the necklace says "Lyme Fighter")

The 22nd is the next day of which I have news to report where I got to go to spend time with the kids I babysit for and we exchanged presents! It was quite a full day and I was extra tired upon my arrival home.

The 23rd I went to church and felt the overwhelming love of my church family as they encouraged me and noted my progress out of the wheelchair and onto my feet in the walker. It was so nice to have a tad bit of enthusiasm as I walked instead of wheeled around the church. Although with walking comes a little bit more exhaustion and I returned home to nap before... Our family got together and we spent time together for our holiday dinner. We say we partook in a Verizon commercial of which we phoned my grandfather in FL to say the Christmas prayer. If only we could have pulled the blinds on the windows up revealing a Verizon network that never stopped working for us, our commercial would've been complete.

Christmas Eve, the 24th was spent going to church, and going to my Aunt Diane and Uncle Eddie's house for the Wilcox dinner and then went to our family friend Cheryl's house for a little while as well.

Christmas day was ever so exciting and I was overwhelmed with the gifts. Our day was complete with a large and filling ham dinner and we got home so that I could settle in for a night of R&R.

The 27th ground breaking news was made! I took my first few steps and then declared I was "ditching the walker!" I decided there was only one way to get better and that was to get walking and show my strength. Despite pain in my various joints in my legs and not quite having total feeling back in my legs I am ready to take on walking about without the walker although I haven't really left the house yet... It was pretty big.

Today more news came from the medical prospective and Dr. L from Armonk called with our follow up appointment and was able to save us gas mileage by calling us and hosting a phone appointment. It sure was interesting being at my Doctors appointment in the comfort of my home. He suggested that I see two other neurologists and helped us come to some more decisions about the seizures stating that my mother should make her best maternal decision on what action steps should be taken upon me having a seizure. Due to our great concern of what the people in Rochester said saying we should not call 911. He also explained each of the tests that he did and the results which was nice because we hadn't had that done ever before. With the conclusion of that phone call we have two more doctors to consult with and no bad news to report which pretty much in my book means good news! No bad news! So with the slow but progressing good news I am very relieved to say I am happy that I can walk again even if it's a little more unsteady and unbalanced and I can't really feel much all of this will come with time. My appetite is still one to be desired and I don't really enjoy eating or find food to be anything great most of the time that too will come with time. So for now I say good night and I hope to write a bit more frequently than I have been lately. Thank you for your continued prayer and support.

Love,

Victoria

An old friend's IM reminded me my blogging community had not been updated in the latest of the days. So here's how the story unfolds:

Thursday's appointment was cancelled by the doctor! Due to the weather they were closing up shop early which was disappointing because I was all geared to go see him. Well kinda anyways. So we re scheduled the appointment for Monday at 4:15 so now my mother and father and I can all be in attendance. We're all looking forward to hearing Dr. Cillip's side of things tomorrow.

Friday I got to go to Wal*Mart with my Aunt and that was an adventure in itself getting into the car out of the car through the parking lot dodging puddle after puddle and into the store. Passing those glorious bell ringers on the way in made me remember my noise sensitivity loud and clear. I got the basics done and on our way out we happened to run into a friends mother and chatted a bit. It's always nice hearing from people due to my constant isolation the doctor has me in lately. I got home and laid in bed and realized lots of my Lyme symptoms were coming around and I felt awful. I was aching and my body was in a great amount of pain I feared my party the next day and went to bed praying things would clear up.

Positive things do happen to positive people!! An e-mail to lift my spirits from Mr. Daly rang true on Saturday morning I was back to my typical sickness and I could help clean and prepare with everyone else. Although my mood was a little less than desirable. Everyone came and everything ran smoothly! A few extra people were brought a long as well. All is well that ends well the party was a great success and I had a blast seeing everyone from school was absolutely wonderful and I couldn't ask for a more caring and loving group of friends.

Today has been going well power of prayer does pay off! I am standing on my own now which is such a mood booster I think for all of us. My balance is to be desired so walking is very very difficult on me but is becoming more and more possible. I am so grateful that I am getting the use of my legs back and I am getting back on my feet. It's amazing how much better I feel but, there is still a long road yet to travel. I am very thankful for everything everyone has helped with and once and awhile I still receive a card from someone and it's so nice to know so many people care and are praying for me and following my story. The love behind us and the positive comments and caring thoughts definitely cushion the bumps along the way.

Tonight's end wouldn't be complete without including the biggest part of the day. We received a phone call from an infectious disease doctor this evening. (A pastor at our church's father) Now to most Lymie's this would be a complete shock and scare but by the grace of God this man was put into our path. He spoke with my mother for some time on the phone and was able to calm her about a lot. He also discussed going back on IV and everything and sounds like that's the ticket. At this point it will probably take 2 years of me on IV to get completely Lyme free. Ah yes, there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Hearing the IV stuff is very exciting, frustrating, nerve racking, confusing, ahhh it's so much! :) I am just not sure what to think but I will probably be getting a picc line in at some point this week and as most of you know this will be number 3. I am ready for it and if this is the ticket to the road to recovery I am on board.

I want to take just one last moment, I know this is a long blog for me but after reading the message from my friend I want to say thank you to each and every one of you reading this right now. I may not know you, or know you well or you could be very close to me but for some reason you have been drawn to my story and you have read my blog. With this I want you and everyone to know that it's truly inspiring to have such a strong support system like I have right now. Each day that it is tough there is always always always someone there to catch me and each day that I reach a new victory and overcome one small hurdle there is someone there to be excited and rejoice with me. It really makes a difference having people be supportive of me in my battle to recovery and I am so deeply and sincerely thankful for each and every person this horrible disease has brought into my life. Thank you again for your support and continued prayer. I hope to continue bringing you good news and keep the positive thoughts coming!

With Love,

Victoria