Although I have not been raised Catholic, this quote stuck out to me. It challenges me to find one person. Just one. To be kind to each day.
“I never look at the masses as my responsibility; I look at the individual. I can only love one person at a time - just one, one, one. So you begin. I began - I picked up one person. Maybe if I didn't pick up that one person, I wouldn't have picked up forty-two thousand....The same thing goes for you, the same thing in your family, the same thing in your church, your community. Just begin - one, one, one.”
- Mother Teresa
Monday, March 9, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
My God is big my God is loud.
If there is one thing I am tonight, it's free.
Tonight I am free from anything but the love of God. Last night I went to this awesome worship and prayer service with well, myself! I was invited by a girl from school and it was the most fun and intense worship I have done in a long time. There was just something about the environment that was infectious. The people were so steadfast in the Lord and it was really all around me. It was the most awesome thing ever.
If there is one thing God is, he is love. I am amazed every single day by the love that pours out all over from his people. God is wonderful and I love him with all of my heart and soul. You may wonder why I am writing about this- but this is why, because I realized there is one thing I don't do enough of and that is read my bible. I have been reading it nightly and it still doesn't seem like enough. I have been drawn into the book of His word and it just seems so captivating.
One thing I have observed is the fact that I will let a bad morning set the pace for a whole day for me. If things go rough that morning it could ruin my pace for the rest of the day, and effect others. If I am a Christian and I want to show God's love how come when I have a wonderful day full of blessing I don't let that seep into the days following? I have really been looking to test my faith in different ways, or make myself become a better person. Diving into just about anything I possibly can. I can't wait to continue to find these things in him.
Finding glory in the sunrise, and glory in the rain...
Tonight I am free from anything but the love of God. Last night I went to this awesome worship and prayer service with well, myself! I was invited by a girl from school and it was the most fun and intense worship I have done in a long time. There was just something about the environment that was infectious. The people were so steadfast in the Lord and it was really all around me. It was the most awesome thing ever.
If there is one thing God is, he is love. I am amazed every single day by the love that pours out all over from his people. God is wonderful and I love him with all of my heart and soul. You may wonder why I am writing about this- but this is why, because I realized there is one thing I don't do enough of and that is read my bible. I have been reading it nightly and it still doesn't seem like enough. I have been drawn into the book of His word and it just seems so captivating.
One thing I have observed is the fact that I will let a bad morning set the pace for a whole day for me. If things go rough that morning it could ruin my pace for the rest of the day, and effect others. If I am a Christian and I want to show God's love how come when I have a wonderful day full of blessing I don't let that seep into the days following? I have really been looking to test my faith in different ways, or make myself become a better person. Diving into just about anything I possibly can. I can't wait to continue to find these things in him.
Finding glory in the sunrise, and glory in the rain...
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Chronic illness aka Q&A edition 2.
Okay, well I told Amy B. she could ask some questions because she didn't know I was back in blog land. She is the only exception because I have a huge soft spot in my heart for her son Philip. So here are her two answers.
Amy asks:
As a young adult the same age as my Philip... How do you make it through the harder days when you just wanna feel like WHY ME? Or What if?
Honestly, this might sound cliche- however my hard days are gone through with either reflecting on worse days or worship music. I love worship music with all of my heart and soul. When those don't work I have a select few people that I can go to and cry or talk to. There are actually two girls I know of off the top of my head and one guy that I have called and they have listened to me cry for far too long. I feel really bad about that sometimes, however that's how I get through those moments. I love them forever, I wish I could tell them about how much I love them. The What if days... Those are far and few between for me, but it seems like when they hit the idea doesn't leave fast. It scares me sometimes especially when I know there is something off. Even something slight, I am on my toes and scared. I wish people knew what it was like to have a stabbing pain and within two days have surgery. I think after getting my gal-bladder out last year I realized that things could get serious fast and that scares me sometimes. Although being with Jesus is going to be awesome I can only imagine.
"Philip rarely has those days but when he does they are so hard for me as his mom...I would love to know better how to help him."
I feel like the best way to help, is to listen. Support him even if it is screaming right along with him, there is no promise for tomorrow for anyone, that's the truth. However the days we are here should be spent loving each other. Show him love and let it be known he is loved.
Do you have any idea how special of a young lady I think you are? I just am so glad you are back. I have worried about you when you left a while back.
Honestly- with two people saying this now. I really don't know if I do know how special people see me. I don't think I will ever know because I have learned when God is in the picture, somehow the unthinkable always happens.
This Question and Answer time has gotten me to notice how people feel and what they wonder when they look at me. If you have other questions even if they are trivial. Leave them around, I might do another answer time with them if there are enough. I really wonder sometimes what people think when they're looking at a teen that's really sick. However I look at them now and I feel like it seems more normal to me. There are a lot of very sick, very hurting teens and I mean physically hurting not mentally but mentally hurting too. Okay so both. I feel like it's something that is actually pretended to be little but I know quite a few.
I feel that the dealing with a Chronic illness isn't talked about a lot. I also feel like when you're a teen it's an awkward time to be sick. Right now I feel like I am trying to figure out who I am as a person like every other teenager that is going through this period in their life. They experiment with things they go crazy they sneak out they, well- they do a lot of things. I see my peers do things a lot and I think wow that's awesome or I am glad I am not doing that. However at the same time I am taking on the responsibility of calling doctors and making decisions. Decisions that could quite possibly affect me in major ways the rest of my life. No, I don't mean college. So for those things it's stressful. I also think that sometimes those things are ignored among my friends and sometimes adults that I associate with. I think I overreact to little things because I feel like one day I am going to wake up and that person might be gone. Yes that is a real fear I have.
This article made me feel a little more normal about some things. Although I don't agree with some of the topics on the list and could bring it down to like 30 some of them really hit the nail on the head.
The two below hit me personally because in the last few weeks I feel like both have happened and I feel really bad about it now. I am praying about a certain situation because I feel at peace about it now, but it felt like a huge deal a few days ago.
Always ask before touching or hugging and never give them a power handshake or a friendly biff on the shoulder. Many people with chronic illnesses are in a lot of pain, particularly if they have symptoms like that of Fibromyalgia, where every touch signal can be magnified into significant pain. This changes all the time, so don’t stop hugging them, just check first and be gentle.
Recognise that pain and extreme tiredness can make anyone irritable (have you never snapped at someone when you’re sick with flu?) and that various medications can affect behaviour. If your friend does or says something rude or hurtful, give them the benefit of the doubt. They may well be horrified afterwards.
This is The End of my Question and Answer and Answer time! Hope you enjoyed.
Amy asks:
As a young adult the same age as my Philip... How do you make it through the harder days when you just wanna feel like WHY ME? Or What if?
Honestly, this might sound cliche- however my hard days are gone through with either reflecting on worse days or worship music. I love worship music with all of my heart and soul. When those don't work I have a select few people that I can go to and cry or talk to. There are actually two girls I know of off the top of my head and one guy that I have called and they have listened to me cry for far too long. I feel really bad about that sometimes, however that's how I get through those moments. I love them forever, I wish I could tell them about how much I love them. The What if days... Those are far and few between for me, but it seems like when they hit the idea doesn't leave fast. It scares me sometimes especially when I know there is something off. Even something slight, I am on my toes and scared. I wish people knew what it was like to have a stabbing pain and within two days have surgery. I think after getting my gal-bladder out last year I realized that things could get serious fast and that scares me sometimes. Although being with Jesus is going to be awesome I can only imagine.
"Philip rarely has those days but when he does they are so hard for me as his mom...I would love to know better how to help him."
I feel like the best way to help, is to listen. Support him even if it is screaming right along with him, there is no promise for tomorrow for anyone, that's the truth. However the days we are here should be spent loving each other. Show him love and let it be known he is loved.
Do you have any idea how special of a young lady I think you are? I just am so glad you are back. I have worried about you when you left a while back.
Honestly- with two people saying this now. I really don't know if I do know how special people see me. I don't think I will ever know because I have learned when God is in the picture, somehow the unthinkable always happens.
This Question and Answer time has gotten me to notice how people feel and what they wonder when they look at me. If you have other questions even if they are trivial. Leave them around, I might do another answer time with them if there are enough. I really wonder sometimes what people think when they're looking at a teen that's really sick. However I look at them now and I feel like it seems more normal to me. There are a lot of very sick, very hurting teens and I mean physically hurting not mentally but mentally hurting too. Okay so both. I feel like it's something that is actually pretended to be little but I know quite a few.
I feel that the dealing with a Chronic illness isn't talked about a lot. I also feel like when you're a teen it's an awkward time to be sick. Right now I feel like I am trying to figure out who I am as a person like every other teenager that is going through this period in their life. They experiment with things they go crazy they sneak out they, well- they do a lot of things. I see my peers do things a lot and I think wow that's awesome or I am glad I am not doing that. However at the same time I am taking on the responsibility of calling doctors and making decisions. Decisions that could quite possibly affect me in major ways the rest of my life. No, I don't mean college. So for those things it's stressful. I also think that sometimes those things are ignored among my friends and sometimes adults that I associate with. I think I overreact to little things because I feel like one day I am going to wake up and that person might be gone. Yes that is a real fear I have.
This article made me feel a little more normal about some things. Although I don't agree with some of the topics on the list and could bring it down to like 30 some of them really hit the nail on the head.
The two below hit me personally because in the last few weeks I feel like both have happened and I feel really bad about it now. I am praying about a certain situation because I feel at peace about it now, but it felt like a huge deal a few days ago.
Always ask before touching or hugging and never give them a power handshake or a friendly biff on the shoulder. Many people with chronic illnesses are in a lot of pain, particularly if they have symptoms like that of Fibromyalgia, where every touch signal can be magnified into significant pain. This changes all the time, so don’t stop hugging them, just check first and be gentle.
Recognise that pain and extreme tiredness can make anyone irritable (have you never snapped at someone when you’re sick with flu?) and that various medications can affect behaviour. If your friend does or says something rude or hurtful, give them the benefit of the doubt. They may well be horrified afterwards.
This is The End of my Question and Answer and Answer time! Hope you enjoyed.
What is a girl to do?
Okay ladies- This is pretty much a tragedy! Somehow my blog got stuck in a foriegn language! I have no idea what it says. Anyone want to help a friend out? How do I fix this:
Question & Answer
Your homework is in: Here are the questions with Answers of course.
From BoufMom9
How old were you when you were diagnosed?
It was the summer of 2005, so I was 14 years-old.
Were you relieved or upset to have a name for your illness?
When I was first diagnosed I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what Lyme disease was, and I was just like "oh". I wanted it to be treated soon and I figured within the next month I would be fine. I never really knew much about Lyme disease until like last year. I didn't know about anyone elses stories really anyways. I just kept in my personal life with what was going on with me. I did know it stunk though. I remember Halloween my Freshman or Sophomore year, I went with my friend Melissa... We came back early and I got home and had a break down and cried and told my mom how sick I felt all the time and how horrible it was. She was so confused... We both were. I am sad now that I have been sick this long, however I have met some amazing people and for that I wouldn't trade it.
Finally, do you have any idea what an inspiration you are to others?
This is something I hear from people a lot. However personally, I have a pretty low self-esteem. I don't feel how I take what is handed me is any different than it should be taken. It is nothing special and I am not trying to be a big deal. It is just how I have to get through my life. Everyone has a story behind their skin, some just aren't as open as I have been with mine.
Melody asks:
What sort of activities/hobbies do you enjoy that help you cope with being chronically ill?
Well a. I am having trouble believing this is chronic because I fully believe God will heal me one day. So therefore I don't think I will be sick forever. Even if that's what the doctors say... Things that help me through the day are painting, and art, ah there are a few things. Well I love to paint and I love artwork. I have taken a liking onto making this book, it's kinda cool, just me experimenting pretty much. I also am a chronic dreamer so that is an activity in itself. I love to dream about things like jumping in mud muddles, laughing till my stomach hurts or twirling in dresses. If you know me in person and have known me for awhile- you know I will daze off once in awhile, I swear I am off in an awesome dreamland. I love to help others as well. If I could do anything in the world for the rest of my life it would be give back to the community. If everyone did that we would be free of a lot of un-happy people. OH and good mail. I LOVE MAIL. Giving and receiving. It's the best stuff in the world. It literally can make me SO happy. I think it's the best. I like to send packages too. Lots of them. So, some of these don't seem like they could make me happy- or deal well but hearing about the joy things bring others makes me feel like I count for something, as selfish as that sounds and sometimes remembering that makes me remember that being sick doesn't have that big of a strong hold on me. Oh, and I love to talk to my grandparents. It's something new I am enjoying that helps me remember I am still young and they give me advice, especially on college. My grandpa has had some really interesting points of view on it. I am thankful for family the most.
Ladies, Since you're the ONLY two people who responded to my post I have a little surprise for you, some good mail! Please e-mail me with an address to send it to! :)
See? Maybe if you responded to my posts you would be getting good mail too!!
From BoufMom9
How old were you when you were diagnosed?
It was the summer of 2005, so I was 14 years-old.
Were you relieved or upset to have a name for your illness?
When I was first diagnosed I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what Lyme disease was, and I was just like "oh". I wanted it to be treated soon and I figured within the next month I would be fine. I never really knew much about Lyme disease until like last year. I didn't know about anyone elses stories really anyways. I just kept in my personal life with what was going on with me. I did know it stunk though. I remember Halloween my Freshman or Sophomore year, I went with my friend Melissa... We came back early and I got home and had a break down and cried and told my mom how sick I felt all the time and how horrible it was. She was so confused... We both were. I am sad now that I have been sick this long, however I have met some amazing people and for that I wouldn't trade it.
Finally, do you have any idea what an inspiration you are to others?
This is something I hear from people a lot. However personally, I have a pretty low self-esteem. I don't feel how I take what is handed me is any different than it should be taken. It is nothing special and I am not trying to be a big deal. It is just how I have to get through my life. Everyone has a story behind their skin, some just aren't as open as I have been with mine.
Melody asks:
What sort of activities/hobbies do you enjoy that help you cope with being chronically ill?
Well a. I am having trouble believing this is chronic because I fully believe God will heal me one day. So therefore I don't think I will be sick forever. Even if that's what the doctors say... Things that help me through the day are painting, and art, ah there are a few things. Well I love to paint and I love artwork. I have taken a liking onto making this book, it's kinda cool, just me experimenting pretty much. I also am a chronic dreamer so that is an activity in itself. I love to dream about things like jumping in mud muddles, laughing till my stomach hurts or twirling in dresses. If you know me in person and have known me for awhile- you know I will daze off once in awhile, I swear I am off in an awesome dreamland. I love to help others as well. If I could do anything in the world for the rest of my life it would be give back to the community. If everyone did that we would be free of a lot of un-happy people. OH and good mail. I LOVE MAIL. Giving and receiving. It's the best stuff in the world. It literally can make me SO happy. I think it's the best. I like to send packages too. Lots of them. So, some of these don't seem like they could make me happy- or deal well but hearing about the joy things bring others makes me feel like I count for something, as selfish as that sounds and sometimes remembering that makes me remember that being sick doesn't have that big of a strong hold on me. Oh, and I love to talk to my grandparents. It's something new I am enjoying that helps me remember I am still young and they give me advice, especially on college. My grandpa has had some really interesting points of view on it. I am thankful for family the most.
Ladies, Since you're the ONLY two people who responded to my post I have a little surprise for you, some good mail! Please e-mail me with an address to send it to! :)
See? Maybe if you responded to my posts you would be getting good mail too!!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Revolve
This tour was absolutely amazing, the women and thier faith was definately evident. To have so many girls in one building praising God was absolutely outstanding. I loved every moment of it! More to come lovelys, have a fantastic evening.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
My last night home for a few nights
So I am doing better, I was quite worried.
I went to school today and I am sewing an apron in sewing class right now. It's pretty awesome! Photos to come. :)
I am going to be very busy this weekend doing awesome things with awesome people and spending time with women of God. I am so entirely excited!! Our youth group is taking our girl's on this event. I am psyched!
Then I will be spending Saturday night with my cousin's fiancee and my cousin.
Your homework? Ask me questions!! See my post here about my Q&A session I am doing. I couldn't have possibly blogged about everything!! Well, I do blog about close to it.
Have a fantastic weekend lovelys. Full of worship, happiness, and joy!
I went to school today and I am sewing an apron in sewing class right now. It's pretty awesome! Photos to come. :)
I am going to be very busy this weekend doing awesome things with awesome people and spending time with women of God. I am so entirely excited!! Our youth group is taking our girl's on this event. I am psyched!
Then I will be spending Saturday night with my cousin's fiancee and my cousin.
Your homework? Ask me questions!! See my post here about my Q&A session I am doing. I couldn't have possibly blogged about everything!! Well, I do blog about close to it.
Have a fantastic weekend lovelys. Full of worship, happiness, and joy!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Flu season
So there is something called the flu and it's widespread across the United States. Everyone you talk to is sick. Now I have gotten it! I can't take any more antibiotics and I am not a happy camper. I am now just praying to be well by Friday. Our youth group is taking a group of girls to the Revolve Tour and my mom is going with us! Yeah!! So now I just need to get better. I will continue to work on that. This is all for now.
Peace!
Peace!
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