The past few months have been overwhelming and intense all at once. College is a lot more than I expected from what I experienced at the beginning of the semester to now. The stressors have changed so many times and my connection with God and those around me is tighter than I would ever imagine.
I could apologize for the lack of my updates however my ever growing silence can be presumed as things were going so quickly that I could not find the time to post. The past few weeks especially God has been working in my heart and showing me what breaks his heart most. It has been an emotional past few weeks and I have found myself feeling raw at the feet of my savior. One could say this is the worst timing for something like this and as I walked around campus bawling my eyes out- I might agree. However, as I looked at those around me and the pain that was inside them I felt there is no good time to experience a pain that is so great for the people around me.
I find it un-canny that I can be so comfortable in a world filled with discomfort and I cannot continue to settle for the motions of the day. I am at a loss for words to describe what I have been feeling but it has been life changing to say the least. God is moving on our campus and preparing hearts of service and love. I continue to cling to the hope that he has placed within my heart and I am looking forward to serving the Lord.
I find that I feel so discontent sitting on campus doing what seems to be nothing in the grand scheme of things however I believe there is a purpose to this. I look to my Christmas last year and the things I looked forward to and was excited for and many of those have changed. I just can't find myself giving materials and my stack of gifts this year consists of just a few gifts- I find myself looking around the world to people suffering from AIDS and the pain of my friends and even people so close to home that are suffering with their loneliness and people here in the states homeless with no where to go. I find myself looking to them and feeling so helpless. I can't continue to walk this earth in my comfort while so many others are so uncomfortable.
This hit me smack dab in the face when I went to pray with the Nist family for their son who passed away from Swine flu. We prayed for a miracle and I believe the true miracle that was received was a spiritual one. The movement that was there was so high and the spiritual encounter so great... I cannot imagine losing a son, brother, cousin, nephew, friend so young... However I am able to worship a God who sent his son to die a brutal death. After that day in prayer I don't know if I am able to comfortably say I can just worship God...
This holiday season has been intense for me to say the least, I am ready for God's plans for me. I am ready to focus on his will above all else.
A kid on our campus is starting Seven Days of Prayer there is a group on facebook but basically it's taking the time we usually are on social networking groups like facebook, myspace, twitter... And taking that time to pray. The event starts Christmas day and will continue until January 1st. The vision is stating that we will be united spiritually... The goal was to get 500 together to do this in less than a week over 1,000 people have joined to pray. I believe that God can use this to really rock our nation- the question is as a nation are we ready to commit not only a week, but a lifetime of prayer and commitment to the Lord?