Monday, May 31, 2010


Deep within the souls of so many little girls there is a longing for their father to just tell them that they are beautiful. They put on dresses, and twirl and spin longing to hear their father say just once, how precious they are to them.

Over time little girls don't hear that word enough, that they are beautiful, precious, and something special. I think our culture has found a way to make everyone feel uncomfortable in who they are and what they do. They slowly they begin to believe the lies of the world, that they are junk that they are too fat or too skinny and they will never quite be enough. They either protect their hearts with steel or they protect them too softly and let the wrong people in or let no one in at all.

Slowly, we need to Come to Jesus

In the past few days I feel as though I have experienced first hand how horrible and wicked sin can be. God truly has something special when he looks at marriage and what it is meant to be. He has a special plan and a special masterpiece that he intends. I really believe that if you rush things that are not supposed to be- or if you don't listen intently to the Lord's planning you may find that you are following a path of un-righteousness that can lead to a broken heart and poor feelings. Though God has grace you must carry the wrath of the sin that you have done. We must follow out his will accordingly.

In Song of Songs it states: 8:14 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

I believe that is a context and a statement that as a society we are missing. We are missing how pure and beautiful God has intended love to be. Through our sins and through giving our pain and misery to others and not handing it over to God we are suffering great sin and great turmoil within our souls. It is saddening, and through those sins we must suffer the feeling of a broken heart and the feelings of I have done no right...

My prayer for the women and men reading this today is that:

Dear Lord,

Protect the innocence they still contain. Please dear God, show them your truth. Protecting them from the temptations of the evils of this world. Dear God, let them make time for you, let them fall passionately in love with you all over again, and let them just see your light and truth. Dear God, if they have had sin in the past that has lead them to a place of confusion or destruction, I ask that you heal them. I ask that you give them a peace that transcends all understanding. Let them know they are good enough and worthy of your love and guide them into a path of righteousness. Hold your children dear today, as you have held us all hold us in your hand and set us apart for our individual life journeys. God Bless us, and forgive us.

In your name,


Tuesday, May 25, 2010


I read a post under this title here.

But I think it's true our generation is a generation of community and justice. We seek to have that provision of some sort of feeling that we have done good. Some call it what is our natural need but I believe God is moving for something larger in our generation.

Last night I went on a prayer walk and we ended up at the high school, we talked about the messes that are being dealt with at younger and younger ages. Kids in 3rd and 4th grade are being approached to smoke pot, do other drugs or have sex. Kids are having sex. That to me is extremely scary and upsetting in a lot of ways. I fear that the passion that is within our hearts will be extinguished if we don't take active steps as Christians to stand strong with them.

I cannot stand this apathy that has come over us we are giving way to satan by not standing strong in love and compassion for our fellow neighbors. We all look to the future and the things that we can do for missions trips, or festivals that are full of God... What happens when those days are too far away, what happens when our neighbors need loving people to step forward and take their children to church, to step forward when emergencies arise and watch them when you cannot? Are we really rising to the challenge of loving every single day as Christ loved?

What if we really did love every day like Christ loves us with no regard and no confusion just prayed to God for that love and freely gave it? I believe that is what needs to happen. We cannot let walls divide us, we cannot let fear rise within us. We must walk freely in the name of Christ.

I see the urgency in the hearts of my friends when we talk about big issues, the people of God are not sure what to do but above all else what happened to falling flat on our faces before our beloved father? We must remember and go back to our roots being fervent in prayer and thanksgiving. Praising the God who gives and takes away. He is so powerful and there is great power in HIS name. We need to be a church on fire once again. I am currently evaluating my life and wondering, what that means for me.

In closing a song: If you're in the Horseheads area and would like to pray for our town, please facebook me- we are going to try to meet by the High School and pray weekly if possible!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Worse than a first date with a BOY

The jitters before my very first professional job interview were overwhelming. I found myself searching my mind to get everything done just before the interview, searching for my certificate of residency for summer courses getting it faxed, getting other errands ran including fixing a wrong that needed to be made right with a shipping mix up.

I found myself changing into a dress and stockings, slipping on some flats and walking into the bathroom to get ready the rest of the way. Pinning back my hair, and getting ready to do my make-up. I then sighed and realized the stress of getting all of this done was worse than any pre-date jitters that I had ever had previously. I felt like the weight of getting this job was weighing on my shoulders. After feeling under-qualified for the job with little previous experience, I knew the impression would weigh solely in the presentation I gave at the interview. I was ready to give it my all.

I found myself arriving home after the interview with a sigh of relief as it went well, and things look promising since I was asked on multiple occasions if I would be ready to start on June 7th. Then I was asked if they could contact previous employers and references. This was the start to something new, a new chapter of my life when I began working.

Then the option came to take on another job, a second job on top of my first 40 hour work week job. The question was a question of will and wits for me and not could I, but WOULD I do it? The answer came with no. I was faced with that difficult decision, and I chose no. However, this morning in my morning devotional I was reminded of this passage in scripture: "You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42 (NIV). It reminded me that God is a jealous God, he wants to fight for our time and he wants our time. He passionately seeks us out and tries to understand what we are doing. He wants us to come to him with our burdens and lay them at his feet. Most of all, he wants us to love HIM and love Him above all else. Not to toil over the many things of this world but to find refuge in the fact that God himself not only cares about us but wants our attention and will then in return love us and provide for us above all else.

So when he says you are worried and upset over many things but only one thing is needed... It makes me think, what am I worrying about that could be and needs to be forgotten. Is it finances for college? Is it my relationships? Is it my sins? Where can the healing begin, and where am I holding back?

But Jesus told Martha that it was Mary who had put her relationship with the Lord first in her life. "'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her'" (Luke 10:41-42,NIV).

If you know the story, Martha is busy preparing and being the hostess for the Lord, she is busying making sure everything is okay and looks perfect. And when it doesn't really matter. I feel that right now in my life, this is convicting. I would be the one who would be busying myself with everything under the sun and not looking to the Lord. It makes me ask myself- why am I busy with the things I am busy with? What is this doing to better the kingdom of God? I don't claim to understand why a lot of things happen but I do know that in order for me to go into missions, to be able to live a life of total healing from my past, and to really live fully. I need to be convicted of the hardest things and understand my battle is constant but so is God's love. It's never failing, and his will is above all else. Forever.