Saturday, January 29, 2011

too true.

re-posted from:

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” - Aristotle


Today I woke up... It was a typical day, a power struggle between me and my many alarms...

I ran a brush through my hair and decided not to shower. I gathered my notebook and pen and coat and scarf... I was off to class. My first class of the day on HIV, Drugs, and the Family.

I returned to the silence of my room an hour later, tired, exhausted even, and sore. I crawled into bed. I found comfort within the sheets of my bed. Ah yes, something so inviting about the warmth of my blankets. I slipped into sleep.

*knock knock knock* My head flew off the pillow: I said come in, I had given in to my most recent power struggle with my body and had fallen asleep. *phew!* it's a girl on the floor coming to visit for an outfit consultation. Something I can handle.

An hour later, I am bundling up to face the bite of the crisp cool air and dodge the microscopic masterpieces of snow. I cross campus as I am going to chapel. There I acquire a heart of worship and reflect...

After chapel comes a meeting and then class until three o'clock.

My day is complete at three. I ponder what to do: I get back to my room and type up an assignment and review my day. I make some important phone calls. I sigh. I made it through the day.

This has been my reflection most days recently... I have been wiped out... Tired if you will. Weaker than normal but still able to push through. Each day is a small victory. It's not so much to take me out, but just enough. Bed comes early each night... However, it has reminded me of the victory I have within my Savior.

Hm... Just a reflection.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Turning Twenty

In just a week and two days I will be twenty. I have been truly struggling with this concept and I have spilt many tears over the whole getting older concept. I cannot believe that I will not be a teenager any more... But since I am just waking up, it's probably safer that I don't dwell on that too much because I am already starting to cry!

In the honor of  the year twenty... I decided I would like to celebrate my birthday. Last year, I didn't, and since I have cried so much about it: I feel this year needs to be a year of celebration or else it will be a birthday of tears!

Anyways, today, I am posting twenty links that I have wanted to post but haven't been able to for one reason or another.

1. Hm this little set up is so cute... Posted after their birthday.

2. I was tempted to ask for everything handmade this year... However, since my car broke: I really feel that I need AAA instead. Andd.... I also would love a new pair of glasses. Mine were broken a year ago and I am still mourning the loss.

3. These are so cool. As I have been planning a summer of travel, and living on faith: I have also found myself checking out trailers and I was looking at this site and they're incredible! And expensive.

4. Again with the homemade... Wouldn't it be awesome to get a birthday in a box? This is a good idea. I think I might do it as a gift for one of my friends... But basically do a whole box of goodies for the friend with the birthday. Hm. Very cool!!

5. These song charts make me smile.

6. Someday I shall read my children Pooh.

7. I need to learn from this little poster.

8. How great are these? I have been waiting for the perfect letter to send someone one in!

Okay so I am sure I have seen PLENTY of other great links... However, I never saved them in my favorites as great links. :] But alas, my anxiety is relieved, even if it is just temporary. Friends, have you had rough birthdays where no matter how much consoling you have received you just can't take the number you're about to turn? How did you deal with it? Any ideas for celebrating??

Monday, January 24, 2011

Could have been love story...

This is too cute... And probably happens more than we know!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011


After dealing with depression and battling with some stuff that was bigger than myself, I began to wonder what life would look like if I unplugged. Sometimes I had invested so much into my pseudo relationships via social networking or e-mail or text message... That I didn't feel like I could even connect on the basic level of normal human interaction.

There is a new concept that I am trying to introduce into my life. It's called being intentional. Instead of getting on the computer and typing away at the keys which is so easy to do... I have began to wonder what it would be like to set up a time to actually meet. To go through and be more intentional about life and the relationships that we build.

I have always loved a good handwritten letter. There is something timeless about getting a piece of mail.

Or getting a phone call versus a text.

I find that slowly I am wanting to buck the system so to speak. I don't want to settle for the distracted conversations of facebook chat, or the convenience of text messaging... I want to be more intentional than just being overly accomplished with my conversations. Instead of talking to three or four people talking to one person at a time and actually being totally invested in them.

I believe that it would change a lot of things... Maybe facebook is convenient but it isn't necessarily what we need. We crave the human interaction beyond hours of Internet.

For the next month, I would like to challenge you to deactivate, unplug, and hand write.

Meet up for coffee, read a book, or hang out playing a board game.

Do something, and be intentional!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Getting back into school...


source: Theo Gosselin
Sometimes with the over scheduled life of a college student... We have lost our brains! I definitely smiled a little when I saw this photo. Don't contact me... I am happy. :]

Sunday, January 16, 2011


Last year around this time I started swimming... It was the only thing I could do because I couldn't really walk, so running wasn't a possiblity yet. I got so I could swim laps without stopping and without being overly tired.
Today I went swimming and my arms were sore and I was tired. Hm... I think I better swim a little longer! It was so relaxing.

A Year in Review

In January of 2010, I found out I wasn't invincible... Well, I think we all knew that. But I found myself back home after having seizures due to skipping seizure medicine. It was a humbling journey of remembering my past and bringing my college friends to the harsh reality of the sickness that had loomed in my body through high school. I ended up coming back to college in a wheelchair which was an obstacle I never thought I would have to face.

Historically, this is the month I celebrate the day of my birth. This year was no different. It marked a year older and hopefully a year wiser... I also found myself journeying down the path of becoming a published author and making this dream feel ever more realistic as I went on a photo shoot with Megan Dailor and some friends from school. She was truly an incredible photographer.


Was a month of self growth and self discovery for me. It is kind of a hump month for me... No real significance and just trying to get through the month. I found out back in December I was allergic to corn & peanuts which lead me on a journey to find foods without High Fructose Corn Syrup. Sometime during March I found out I could eat wraps from BT's and it was huge!


Spring came! And on one rainy, cold, spring day, I participated in one day without shoes! A humbling process of realizing that I have so much and experiencing life differently for a day. An aside to this: today I went into the city for my first experience doing real homeless ministry and I really realized that no matter what choice I make to live simply or to give much... I will truly never understand what it's like to go without as some of these people have to go through... It's incredible to me that I can live just miles away from complete poverty. May I continue to be humbled in 2011 in how I can ease the burdens and bless others with the blessings that have been poured out to me.


May brought me to my first outdoor track meet. This was also the month I got the courage to ask the coaches if I could join the XC team in the fall! I did, and it began the "schedules" and training for my upcoming season. By the end of May, I also had landed my very first professional job! I was elated and extremely nervous... The interview process was extremely intimidating. I also went to a wedding for a friend at college... My first wedding with someone that was my age... It was an honor to be a part of their special day.

I started my first job as a Clinical Assistant and really had my eyes opened to so many things.... This job taught me so many life skills that I was ignorant of and yet another meaning of love. I really have learned so much from my patients and each day it has been a growth process for me. I really found that though I don't believe this was my calling to work in this setting, I can be used while I am there. This job also has overwhelmed me with healing from my own journey through being on the other side.

In June I also grew a lot as an individual as I found myself growing into an athlete and running more and more and healing from my past. I found a love for going out and just pouring my heart out in prayer as I ran. It was truly a transformation of heart as I also lived with my grandparents and got to spend time with them.

In June I also got to work at Connections and see the perspective students fill the spots where I had been a year before. So cool to see new people come in and get ready to enter college!


In July my sister got engaged! I got a phone call that would rock my world!!

I grew passionate about helping people and really just working towards blessing others. I got to participate in an adoption journey through giving monetarily... And this month to be frank, passed by too quickly.

I wrestled with my faith and what I believed in and consulted my grandparents a lot... I also really fell in love with the youth group I was working with and realized I have a heart for the youth.


In August, I lost my port! Well, I actually didn't really lose it per-say, it just got removed. It was very relieving however, I have to say it's really weird still not having it.

August also took me to my very first Cross Country camp experience. I struggled a lot with how I fit on the team but I also grew to realize that this was something I was truly passionate about. I absolutely loved running with the team and getting to know the girls on the team...


I got to run in my very first collegiate race. It was incredible... It also was the precursor to many more races. It was very exciting for me... I also got to truly  feel what it was like to be an athlete and I really thought it was cool. I also got to enjoy some really cool bike rides while I recovered from shin splints. And I was able to see God's creation in a new light.

I also got to become more active in my church home away from home... As I started helping out with Calvary Assembly of God's nursery and youth group aka: Second!. It was a huge blessing to me! By the end of the month I also started going to the Young Adults group as I was able and it was really nice to find a church home here at school.


I felt the face of defeat as I had a seizure on the course of one of our meets and was hospitalized. From there I also found myself surrendering my place on the team. This was a very scary and stressful time for me as I began to lose the consistency of going to practice every day and really just losing life as I knew it. During this time, I also found strength in new friends and began to grow in my faith more than ever. I also picked up my knack for baking again...

I participated in my very first cook off... And I won the pie category! It was extremely exciting!! I also got to go home more this month and I really was able to spend time with my family. This was very needed... And it was by far one of the hardest months of 2010.


This has usually been one of my favorite months of the year... But proved to be tough. The end of the semester was so shaky I began to wonder if I would make it out alive! I survived finals week and also made up two weeks of classes that I had missed consecutively. By the end of December I felt like a train had hit me. However, this Christmas was most definitely one of my favorites! Having family together and all under one roof felt right to me and everyone was at peace.

Overall, 2010 was an incredible year... I would not change it for the world. I also felt like before the month of January ended I should write something. I miss blogging... It's something I would like to continue to do... Still so much to post about! Good thing I keep up a journal as well. I hope to keep these memories forever.