Here's to freedom of the past and a new beginning. Let your past hold it's name and let it be the past. Open your life to new beginnings and dance in the snow!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Here's to freedom of the past and a new beginning. Let your past hold it's name and let it be the past. Open your life to new beginnings and dance in the snow!
If you could change someones life... Would you?
I got thinking about it and you know a month ago I wasn't able to walk and in our school, little things I didn't notice were harder than ever. Like the fact it's up hill to go through part of our school and it's up hill to go back through. There are these little ramp things in our "link" that you have to go up in order to get to the other end of the school. Well, one day a guy pushed me up those two ramps while I was trying to push myself with my hands. It was really hard and it got to be tiring but that one act of kindness meant the world to me. He was kind enough to push me and get me over that hill.
Sometimes hills are physical hills but mental or spiritual ones and I have suffered from those as well but- I wonder sometimes, when I am walking, am I so caught up in my new found health and the busy world that I can't stop to help someone who is in the shoes I am in... It makes me think and wonder how many people I have cheapened or given short amounts of time because I thought I had something more important to do- but really, I believe it's about the relationships, the people, not the things we find important but the things we should be doing. I am a very broken person but I believe there is time to improve who I am.
I continue to be humbled by the comments people leave and the sincerity in their words. I am meeting many wonderful people. For now, I have another essay to write for a scholarship and artwork to do and a book I would like to finish! Life is crazy but that's okay. I soon will be back in school and with some sort of schedule. I also will be getting feedback from the two colleges I applied to. So we shall see! I am thinking about going to visit them too here in January! Maybe towards the end of the month. I want to take my artwork and such to them. I am quite excited. So there is a brief update. I will write more later.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Just a few short weeks ago I was burdened with the thought of me being helpful and hopeful to others. I didn't understand how it was helping me or what it was doing, and to be completely honest I had no idea how I had carried through with so many tasks of speaking kindly and why things were turning leaves the way they were. I didn't understand it. So as I was talking to my youth pastor I was saying I don't know how I did it. I was ready to throw in the towel because it seemed every place I turned the corner there was someone to turn to me and rip down my self esteem question what I believed, or divulge me in so many questions. I didn't understand their questioning and I just felt wouldn't it be nice, if I could see things the way God does. I had a hard time with what was going on and I just wanted to show people and let them see things through my eyes. I wish they knew is all I could think, and soon in the days that followed I felt peaceful and now I am feeling a little calmer. It has been hard and it has been heart breaking and the stress of school, doctors appointments, and the scope that have followed have been stressful on me as well. But now more than ever I realize I have so much to be thankful for.
I am blessed with my creativity and thinking outside of the box because without it, I wouldn't have put together my Christmas Wish List for others and this holiday season would have been a little dimmer. Not only for the people who are getting gifts, but for me as well because I have felt great joy just hearing of their happiness and content. Letting them know that people do care and have found it in their hearts to take the time to send them a package. I am so glad I came up with that idea.
I also have found that even though I don't understand things or even if it is really confusing- that things have a way of becoming clearer. I don't really get a lot that happens and when I do get it a new meaning surfaces later on. Yet, it has been something I am learning it's okay. I am so very grateful for the gifts I have received in the mail already, I have tried to encourage others to buy for the Lymies on my wish list if they can- ignoring my wants and reaching out to others. Just because I feel like it would be a three way gift and benefit all parties involved. I am very thankful for everyone who has contributed to the Lymie Christmas this year.
I am also thankful for the things like my sight, my ability to walk, talk and have an opinion that counts. I am thankful that I am heard. It is so heartbreaking for me to look into other countries and see how women are treated and this year I have seen so many things change in our country in the vision of women and the views of so many other things that I am thankful that I am here. I am glad that I have had "character building" experiences whatever they may have been they have shaped me and changed me for the better. This is just one of those posts that I want to say thank you, thank you for reading, praying, thinking of me when times are tough and sharing your story and walking along side me in this path that we call life. I appreciate it, and I hope that I will be back to posting more frequently this upcoming week- however, if I am not- I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas and a Healthy and Happy New Year. Christ is really the reason for the season this year and I hope knowing there is something more to life that you find peace above all else, this holiday season and in the upcoming new year- through the financial burden that has been placed upon so many homes.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
I am sick second.
My giggles and fits of laughter, my immaturity and my love for free time and hanging out with friends is part of who I am because I am a teenager first.
I am sick second.
My longing to stay out late and run through the snow is what I really would rather be doing.
I am sick second.
Yes I do just want to chat on the phone and listen to music and not talk about another doctors appointment because I am a teenager first.
Now sometimes my second comes first like when a test is mentioned I don't think of a test on paper but a test of blood.
Sometimes I sleep for a long time because well, that is my second coming first and my first becoming second. But most of all I wish that everyone else saw my teenager me first and my disease second.
Cause after all I was a human and a child before I was sick. I am just that. A teen.
Today I ask a personal opinion. An experience or a thought. I am doing a photography project and I am doing it on the social- cultural issues abortion. I am pro-life and believe that all babies should be given an opportunity at life. So I ask you what comes to mind when you think of pro-life I am trying to get opinions and views of every aspect. One thing that has stuck out in my mind is the thought- One dead, One wounded. If you think about it, it is just that the mother will never be the same after aborting her baby. She is wounded, even if she ignores those feelings for awhile they can come back. She is wounded. This is such a tough society to live in when it comes to these standards. I don't think they have ever really lightened up but now the news is filled with these things and it seems people so young are making life changing decisions. Another that I came up with is The decision my parents made for me, has left me feeling incomplete. All I can think is of the aching girls who yes, made a wrong decision. They have screwed up- but I have screwed up before too and their parents forced them to have an abortion because it was too much to handle. If you don't think it's possible- start reading abortion stories. I have read a lot of them and started doing research and it has been intense, heartbreaking, and moving to read the stories of faces behind this issue.
So I ask, do you have an opinion on pro-life? Do you have a short one sentence profound statement? And do I have permission to use it on my project if I choose to?
Thanks, and remember 1 in 10 couples are infertile- chances are someone you know or love is infertile and would make a great parent.
Today I am thankful for my chance at life and my chance to screw up and make mistakes and learn.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
RULES: There are 100 statements and you bold the ones you have done. Grab it and play for yourself!!
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disney World
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept in an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill I go to doctors appointments all the time when I feel like I might have been strong enough to go to school.
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chicken pox
89. Saved someones life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day
It was a great honor to receive the Superior Scribbler Award from Renee at Renee's Reflections. She is an awesome woman and I am surprised and honored to receive this award.Here are the rules for the blog:
- Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.
- Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.
- Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post, which explains The Award.
- Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List.
That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor! Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog. Superior Scribblers I know?Check them out below:
Kelsey at K is... Not your Average Girl Kelsey is well, fantastic. She is a lot like me in many ways and she has inspired me. She gives me hope because of her wonderful attitude and compassion towards others. She is a really good writer and I think she is well deserving.
Tori at Breathings Of My Heart This blog is lovely. I absolutely love going there her blog is fantastic and wonderfully written.
Bouf Mom at Who Says 8 is Enough? A loving mother who not only has 9 wonderful children but also a wonderful lady all around who has shared her journey of parenting a large family and helps others by giving back to other families. She inspires me so much.
Carson's mom at SANITY This blog pulls at my heart strings. She is such a wonderful mom and her love is so apparent through her writing. The family's story just makes me cry, smile, laugh, and pray. If you would like to help this dear little girl Carson, please check out a great thing going on here.
Kimber at Kimber's Space This lovely mom is fantastic and she has awesome Not Me Monday's I enjoy reading her blog and the different things she brings to the blogging world. I also feel so special and happy when I receive a comment from her. She's an awesome person.
These people are so awesome and they all add a different spirit and piece to the blogging world bringing color and sweet little sentiments. Thanks for visiting and a little later I will be posting an update.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thank you for the support you guys have given me and I hope I will see through even this ridiculous test- for sure it will not cause pain, there will be no pokes or blood drawn, how bad can a test really be? I guess one thing can be assured I will not get any result out of this test that could be proven fatal or could tell me that statistics say things will not be good for me. There is always hope for the community college and I have even considered just applying there getting accepted and having the ease of mind I am in. So I don't have to worry if I get two other rejection letters. Things will work out! Just now, pray I get up at 5 so everything works according to plan. I will be even more frazzled if anything else happens.
As I was reading Kelsey's blog or K's blog I realized I am putting my 100% faith in God this holiday season and as I apply to college this year. If I don't get into my colleges I plan on getting into then that's not what I am meant to do. Not yet. My calling is here close to home with the support of friends and family and I will be going to CCC with some other kids from school. I was watching this movie and listening to the lyrics it really hit me. The song is "Rescued Nation" by Holyfire.
I would like to spot-light a very special person close to my heart today.
Lucy, She is a fellow "Lymie" and I have really loved our friendship. I am amazed by her strength and courage. Even though we go through rough patches I know she will continue to be herself. She is true she isn't afraid of showing her reality and her soul. I am so amazed by her and there is just something about her spirit that amazes me. I haven't talked to her as much lately but my amazement and prayers have not changed. She is such an awesome young lady. I am so thankful that I have people like her in my life to say hey, it's not so bad or keep on fighting you dork you're not going to get better by complaining! She isn't that harsh promise. But she is always encouraging me to go against the grain and try new things or say enough is enough. She is bold and beautiful. She shares a passion of painting with me and I am lucky to own one of her originals. She is an awesome girl and has an amazing spirit. Thank you for being my friend Lucy. You absolutely rock.
P.S. I am trying something new out today- I scheduled this blog to post tomorrow! :) How cool.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Don't take the time you have here for granted, don't take the relationships you have here for your personal use. For before too long the days that were seeming so long will quickly slip between your finger tips. Yeah, hours will turn to minutes days to hours and before you know it your life will be quickly fading away. I don't know what to say other than I am so glad that you're here now and today. I am so thankful for so many people and for the next while I am going to be spot-lighting again.
Tonight my Spot- light is on my dad.
My dad is a guy of few words, or many and he can really make me think. Sometimes I don't really get what he's saying and sometimes he gets me really confused. But one thing I know for sure, is that he loves me. It might be confusing at times but I know that he has been there at the hospital when I have had to go in he has been there listening to my cries call out and I know he will be there any day I am on unconscious. My dad is a person I look up to- he lost his father at about this age and I cannot even imagine the pain or suffering that causes. I can guess or try to think of it but I will never really know. He showed strength he emptied bed pans and helped out around the house he was the youngest he was strong willed. I think he holds a lot of his mother within his heart. He is good to others, he shows compassion to others, and he has a strong spirit. My grandmother is one of my biggest role models today. I am so glad I practically lived at her house growing up and I am so thankful my parents blessed me with that time with her. I remember distinctly a night, my dad asked me if I wanted to go to the babysitters or his mothers the next day- knowing I would get to see other kids my age I said the babysitters and I remember him getting mad at me. I didn't understand why he was mad but now, looking back upon it I know something I didn't know then. Time is limited time is not bought and time is not a gift, our days here are numbered and I should handle them as though they are something wonderful because that it truly is. The days I spent wasting away hours I wish I could have learned more from people like her. It just reminds me there is so much still yet to learn especially from my elders. I can't thank my dad enough for being at my bedside for holding my hand for giving me a stern word or two and showing his way through. I am really glad my dad is my dad and I wouldn't trade him for the world. He has instilled a taste of music within me and he has shown me that with a little courage I can do absolutely anything. He will put his job on the line to be with his family and he has surrendered all he has. I guess, sometimes we're blind to these things but he taught me one thing for sure I know that the all mighty dollar does not come over relationship. Never will and never should. I am so very blessed with the people in my life especially my dad. He is a wonderful man he really is. So dad, here's to you, thanks. You're really great and all the nice comments you read on here, yeah dad that's to you too because you raised me with a stern tone and a pat on the back. I am so every thankful for you dad.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
This Christmas I have strongly focused on giving back to people. Every day for advent I am doing something special for someone in my community. I decided that the Christmas holiday is a very important holiday to feel loved, to know that people care. I know that may sound corny but some people feel like no one does care and I think we all go through those days.
This holiday season, if you don't have a charity to give to or are looking for a way to give back- I would like to encourage you to buy a Lyme disease afflicted teen a gift. If you're new to my blog, I want you to know that I don't ask for money constantly and I don't push too much charity stuff for Lyme. But as I have seen some of my friends that are sick with this horrible disease it has strongly broken my heart. I am giving to a lot of different other sick kids this year in hopes to reach out and I encourage you to do the same. Below are bio's of the kids involved. Click here if you would like to get involved in this. I am really hoping I can see the kindness of healthy strangers pull through.
We kept all the wishes under $20 and the only real request I have is that you write a Christmas card out to them with a message. If you think about it, 4 people put in $5 you have enough money and it's only $5 and then if all of those people give a card it's like a shower of cards. You really don't know how much that means to someone who has been sick and rarely gets mail. It really is the thought that counts. Please e-mail me if you would like to buy a gift because I am leaving the wish lists up until Christmas Eve. to keep it a surprise I am not taking down the items that have been granted. However I am not going to keep rambling if you would like more information please e-mail me. If you cannot give this year, I request prayer for all of these wonderful teens who are suffering greatly and all of them are not able to go to school on a regular basis, so I ask for prayer the greatest gift of all.
Alex H.- Alex has been sick since she was 11 years old. She was always healthy. She began having weakness in her left arm and within 9 months she walked her last steps. The weakness traveled from her left arm/left leg/right arm/right leg and then respiratory. In 2 more months she went into respiratory distress and Dr's said she would not survive the night. Alex was airlifted and put on a vent/trach and a g-tube inserted for nutrition. Today, Alex is completely paralyzed unable to move, breathe, eat or talk. However, she understands everything and can slightly move the corner of her mouth to yes questions. She believes someone is going to help figure this out and help her be well again. Alex has an identical twin, Jaci who is healthy. Alex is the only one who has no diagnosis.
Candice M.- I'm Candice, I'm 19, and I've been battling lyme for about 3 years now. I was only diagnosed 7 months ago, so for the first couple of years of my illness I just tried to push through. I went off to college last year, and that's when my body started to push back. I became so ill that I had to drop out and move back home in the middle of the year, and I've been at home struggling ever since. Hopefully the holiday season won't be so bad. I wish all of the lymies out there a happy and healthy holiday (or at least a stable one, that's just what I wish for!). Merry Christmas!
Jeff K.- My name is Jeff. I'm 16, and have had Lyme for 3 1/2 years. After relentless treatment, more needles than any hospital can carry, and unbearable stress and problems, my symptoms have barely let up. I love my parents so much, they've spent nearly their entire fortune just to get me better. Unfortunately that will not last forever.I have severe fatigue, so I can't really do much besides lay around. I listen to a lot of music and play a lot of games...and that's pretty much it.
Kayla P.- I'm Kayla and I just turned 19. I have had Lyme for 5 years now. I love to read, do anything artsy and crafty like beading and drawing, watching movies and listening to music.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
If you would like to help spread the holiday cheer to a teen with Lyme this holiday season I have started a project with wishlists for teens with chronic Lyme disease. If you would like to check out the wishlists and our project click here. Or e-mail me here. Have a fantastic holiday season and happy blog surfing!
Also a big shout out to my dad today is his birthday! Maybe I'll post later- don't really understand the SITS thing.
Monday, December 1, 2008
It's a game that you play-
The game is an easy one! All you have to do is make a list of ten of your favorite things. But there is a little catch. Everything on the list has to start with a specific letter of the Alphabet. That letter is randomly assigned by the blogger who you are playing with! If you would like to join in let me know and I will assign you a letter.
1. Tea- I absolutely love tea of all kinds! My favorite as of late is pomegranate green tea. It's absolutely delicious, I don't really like coffee all that much.
2. Tylenol- I am very thankful for Tylenol it relieves my fevers and it also can help with the aches and pains I experience sometimes.
3. Teachers- I am very thankful for all of the teachers I have had over the past years, lately especially because they have been patient and kind and they all have tried to help me get through high school and I couldn't have gotten this far with out them.
4. T-shirts- I love T-shirts especially T-shirts with a cause I have them from walks I have participated in and causes I support. I really find them to be nice because sometimes they make people ask questions and then I am able to educate them on something they didn't know about.
5. Telephones- I really enjoy telephones especially my cell phone because it keeps me in touch with my friends when I am out of school and my family. It also makes me laugh when I get messages from my grandpa. I will never forget the day my grandpa sent me a picture message by texting. I still have it saved!
6. Time pieces- I love watches and time pieces especially pocket watches. I love spending time with other people as well.
7. Thoughtful People- I am really especially thankful for all of the thoughtful people that have come into my life, there have been so many and I hope some day I can be the thoughtful person giving back to those who are in need.
8. Tye-Dye- I really like Tye Dye things I love the whole artistic look to it and I love doing it and not knowing what the t-shirt will look like until I am done.
9. Truth- This is a game I like to play and it's fun because you get to know the other person while you play. What you do is ask questions and then the person has to ask honestly. In order to win one person has to pass the question and then the other person has to answer the question the passed person asks.
10. Teapots- Ah alas, my last item of T and one of my favorites! One of my Christmas wishes was a teapot! I am super excited I like funky ones that are different and out of the ordinary.
This post was brought to you by the letter T. Sorry for so many posts today! I think I am on my third for the day.
What an awesome thing. Congratulations!