Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Awaiting validation

A few years ago, I found tears hitting against my keyboard as I wrote this post.

Today my tears fall for different reasons... However, as I read the comments from women on that very post. I find a universal longing within the women both grown and still teenagers. We await a validation. We sit remembering days of heart break and heart ache. Boys who have told us no, or have not noticed us at all... And absence of men within our lives. A father, uncle, step-father, grandfather.... A man that has said hurtful things into our hearts that leave scars.

We look to others in this constant battle to see our worth, our beauty. We fill our hearts with chick flicks, and romance novels. Trying to understand what it feels like to be loved.

Oh how I wish I could tell the seventeen year old me to hold on to that moment and to try to see God's precious blessing. Oh how I wish that I could allow God to hold my heart tenderly and totally surrender... Yet it seems God is constantly fighting for my heart. And it seems as though it's a universal ache we have in our hearts. The fragile state of my heart the tender wounds that have been left.

I look back over the years, and I am amazed... I wonder: how did I make it until now? And I continue to remember how very small I am. Yet how infinite God's love is... And I know He will validate my heart no matter what... And He will heal the wounds and scars that are left broken and pouring out of my broken heart. God has this under control.

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