Tuesday, August 17, 2010

... I am yours what does that make me?, Aimless wandering or so it seems, Here I am send me.

The summer is coming to a close and the title of this post is the thoughts that run through my mind as I drive to work and home from work on a daily basis... That's right I am driving now!

Things have changed a little bit from the beginning of the summer and I can only find myself labeling this summer as a summer of growth... As I continue to seek God in my life I also find myself seeking His will and passion and just praising Him for all that has gone so well.

I went from wheelchair bound to running and working on my feet all day. I am finding my stressors to be those of a little more complexity than some of the ones in my past. Now, not framed by the medical world but those framed with the emotional, and spiritual battles of every day life. My body is still adjusting to the expectations I hold from my mind and slowly things are falling together.

I have learned a lot from my summer job and I don't just mean the basics to the job, holding an expertise in phlebotomy, sticking people for blood sugars, doing blood pressures, and other various tasks of my job such as the impending doom of the morgue and the excitement of a colostomy bag.

Yes, I have learned skills, and I have acquired a lot of ease in high stress situations... But I have also learned a thing or two from my patients about Faith, Love, and Happiness. I have been able to see families mend together over the bed of a dying family member, and I have seen them rip at the seems... I have had to walk into rooms where the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife and on the other end of the spectrum there are those who sit in absolute joy over their new-found life. I have learned from the mistakes of those I encounter, and I try my hardest to be a listening ear... With a world with marriages in the grips of absolute destruction, I have seen people who have been married 68-70 years and who are still happily married!

I have acquired a fear that my values for marriage may be lofty and silly by some but after observing so many happy marriages, it doesn't seem so impossible after-all.

This summer, I continue to chip away at my bucket list through getting my license... And I have learned how to practice grace and patience through my ministry outreach in our hometown at the youth group. I have found true joy from my running and found that much like being a Christian takes patience and endurance to focus on the preparation just as much as the final product.. Running is the same way. I have found God in interesting places like at the bedside of a combative patient to the voice of an out of key singer.

I have found that it's not about God's lack of presence, but more our lack of vision to God.

At the end of this summer, I am looking to say to the Lord, Here I am, send me! I have grown in confidence, and passion for the Lord... But I have also learned that no matter how bad it gets here I still have eternity.

I know this has kind of been a hodgepodge post but I wanted to post something, as I pack up my things into the car and prepare for yet another journey... As I enter my first year on a team (Cross Country, and another thing to check off my bucket list). Starting the 22nd, I will be joining them at school to go to camp and experience the team bonding and building. I cannot wait! Yet, I am a bit apprehensive of what it has to hold! Prayers are welcome, and I hope to update more as I have internet regularly once again!

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