I am reading the book Through Painted Deserts by: Donald Miller... And I came across this excerpt which is now a quote: a little background the two guys (Don and his friend Paul) are on a road trip and Don asked his friend Paul what he was looking for in a woman:
"'I guess I'm looking for what any guy is looking for. I want a companion, you know. Just someone to share life with. I want her to be my biggest fan and I want to be her biggest fan too. I want us to raise kids in a home where they know their parents are in love with each other and with them. I guess that's all I want.' Realizing he had taken the question seriously, I offer a patient comment, just above a whisper, loud enough to know he can hear me. "That sounds like a pretty good want."
"It ain't bad," he says. "It isn't too much, you know. I don't want the perfect girl, really. You figure every girl is beautiful, you know. It's our arrogance that makes us think one is better than the other."
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"I don't know. I was just thinking about girls the other day and wondering, you know, why some girls just get ignored and others get worshipped, and I really got this feeling in my chest like all of that wasn't true. Can't be true. Doesn't make sense. Like maybe if you can't love a girl who isn't all perfect, then you can't really love a girl who is. Not for real. Not unconditionally."
I thought this was interesting. I recently went to dinner with a dear friend of mine, June, and one thing about June is that she speaks life into me. Every time I go out with her, or any encounter I have with her: she encourages me. She has stood behind me when some very dark things have come over my life. And she has whispered words of encouragement when everyone around me is doubting my sanity. And as we chatted, she once again spoke truth and life. She gave me permission not to date for awhile... And it's funny because right after she said that: I had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
Now going back to this quote from the book... It's interesting because it seems as though constantly there is this double standard for women that they must be perfect. People will turn around and say how some women are beautiful or turn their heads for a second glance... While other women walk through life never turning heads, or being noticed at all. I thought it was interesting what Paul said, that it's our arrogance that one woman is better than another.
Hm. It is not all that often that we may say that we are arrogant. However, does it not say in the bible that we are all crafted in God's likeness? I think this happens to me a lot... I see beauty all around me and see the flowers and the trees the hills and the clouds. And think: wow God, today you sure out did yourself! I mean yesterday, I thought the sky was beautiful... But today God, wow. Look at that! And so the story goes... Each day I find new things to be amazed at. But then when I look in the mirror, I think hm: God, why do I have that zit? Or you messed up here... Look at how my curls are falling today God... Why can't you make each one equally curled and perfect? Maybe then...
Tonight as I was looking into the mirror and thinking about everything... I thought these same thoughts... Maybe then... And it was like God was deep inside me saying, maybe then what? What will happen when your zits are gone? Or your curls fall perfectly? And I don't know that I have the answer to that question. Would I notice? Or would I find a new problem? Do others notice? And does it really matter? Are we truly so arrogant that we have forgotten that we are each handcrafted? I don't know. But as I thought about it... I started to wonder... If each day I found the really good things about myself and put them in a jar. If slowly, I would find there are many more good things than flaws.
My encouragement today for my friends out there: is to look in the mirror and smile... You are beautiful/handsome, and you have a special purpose on this earth. So you have every reason to smile (and it's proven everyone looks better smiling)!