The last few days my mind has been consumed with this potent word.
I am finding myself wondering of the feelings emotionally and then comparing it to what I have seen the culture around me understand it as.
The feeling mystifies me and is something I cannot completely grasp nor understand. I look into the bible to see these descriptions of love yet not from the heart but stemming from deep within the gut. From your inner and center being.
Love from your stomach, who knew?
I find this to be an interesting but complex concept for one to understand because somehow all of a sudden love, becomes something not so Hollywood and all of a sudden something that is a true emotion and feeling. Coming from the core and not necessarily from your mind or some souped up heart. I believe that with this understanding love can personally be defined as loving someone fully with all of their best interest in mind. This means loving the person fully through failure and disappointment just as much as one can love them through all of their highest points and when they work for hours to prepare for a moment in time. It is loving that person equally no matter what, finding a sense of agape love.
I find this to be something that is impossible to achieve in a human realm however with God it can become somewhat more clear or possible. It encourages me to know that God has this sense of love this sense of adoration that I long for and he fills my heart with it. Fills me with that sense of wonder and that need for love and peace. The more I pray about love and knowing that sense of feeling full and complete the more I feel that I am able to fix things and overcome things from my personal past and heal in a way that is being fully restored in God.
So in this inner struggle with love and discontent with the Hollywood love that has been placed across what seems to be the whole world. I realize that in this God has placed this sense of wonder this sense of great adoration for this word, this concept of love. I believe that it is truly the most beautiful thing being loved by ones savior and having that personal and side by side relationship with him. I think my personal goal by the end of my freshmen year above all of the goals within each of my classes and developing more discipline within my studies... Is to become closer in my relationship with God. To become closer with him and grow in my faith. Through that growing with my self image.
He loves us, it's true and I think the hardest part of my faith walk is accepting that.