The last few days something has really resounded with me- and that's our authentic life we share with God. How we can relay authenticity with Him and Him alone.
I have found that I, myself hold grudges with God. He didn't answer that prayer the way I expected, or I still don't have answers to these questions. And yet it holds me into this uncomfortable area of my life. It makes me wonder if I am walking the not so logical but complete surrender filled life that I desire to walk. I am finding that people really can do harsh things and murder our hearts. However, we have to trust that God can restore, transform, and live inside even the dead man's zone of our heart. As we battle these hard circumstances.
It has taken a lot for me to get to this point in my life. To be able to see that God is still going to provide even if there seems to be a battle ground of trouble and hard feelings. Things I don't understand will still be protected by God's love.
However, do I believe that fully? I am struggling to let that clearly be lived out. How is my life reflecting Jesus and God? In Hebrews 6:13-20 it casts down upon us that certainty of God's promise. He sealed his promise with an oath that it would not change. He is unchanging, and ever loving. My heart's desire is to understand that and live it out more.
Most of all though, it's letting go of our hearts desire and just letting God in, to edit, and transform us. He wants us to give up, to let go, and totally surrender to Him. However, surrendering doesn't look like trying to surrender- it's like a small child when they jump into their parents arms and they have total trust they don't think of anything else. They just believe their parent will catch them. There is no thought even crossing their mind that their parent won't be there. They just trust, and know it is true.