“For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10
Over the past week a lot of trial and struggle has come about and it has forced me to think about things that are deep down in my heart things I don't tend to uncover very often, and it seems to be placed at the most inconvenient time: the week before finals.
What really spurred this post was a comment a friend made when he stated with great anger: This world SUCKS. This isn't how he meant it to be, that comment stung a bit. He's right. It does suck and the pain and burdens and horrible feelings that we face are so entirely not of God and his original plan, how can we ever be content here?
This past day I have been just struggling with who knows what and it seems everything all at once. Trying to figure out a mountain of things in a short period of time. The end of the semester stresses rising up and facing difficult challenges and adversity. I see others who have also faced these medical crisis so to speak and how they deal with them: yet we all grow weak and weary.
It says in the bible: So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
Yet I sit and feel the physical pain that is soon beyond description other than complete agony and I feel the utter exhaustion as my body just aches and I wonder how do I not fear? Today, I made the decision not to go to church as I really needed sleep- and I felt like the more that statement resonated with me the more I needed to hear it. We must be patient in everything, encouraging, and constantly working to be the best we can be: the best brothers and sisters in Christ, the hardest school workers and taking everything even our fight against pain as a worship of God.
When I begin to look at my reaction to my pain as a worship to God, it changes how I want to complain about it- it makes me examine why I might be going through it... It makes me challenge myself to ask if I have enough faith to clearly pray that God will provide that faith that is needed to heal the burden... If it is his will. Will I be persistent in asking and pleading on my knees for these things knowing and fully believing I will get an answer even if it isn't within the hour.
My prayer today is: "Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD."Psalm 25:4-7