Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Healing

I have been reading a lot and just totally enthralled by God's goodness and I think it's about time I write a post of a mini testimony of what has gone on in my life over the past year or so...

Last year in April, I became deathly ill with sepsis a blood infection that harbored within my port. It was during that time I decided that I would never be healed and God just didn't have that within his plan for me. I was okay with that because it seemed like every prayer service I had gone to I went with the hope of being healed and had nothing in return. I had fallen into a rut that I deserved this healing after being sick for so long.

Then after I got out of the hospital, I was walking with my walker and I had still been struggling with blue/purple legs and difficulty walking. It was during that time I found myself completely submitted to God and just realizing I would live out my life in submission if it was God's will for me. A few days of being out of the hospital, I was invited to a BBQ at a Pastor's house with a worship leader. We all sat around the table and talked about God, and what is going on in our lives and the worship leader talked about his life of not going to college and serving the Lord. I was impressed by his testimony of God's faithfulness. He took interest in my story as a 18 year old young girl, looking pretty healthy on the outside but walking with a walker... I told him as little as possible and tried to dismiss the questions. Truth be known, I was getting uncomfortable and wanted to leave.

Well, as we moved to the living room the boys pulled out their guitars and we went into a time of acoustic worship. I sat on the sidelines of worshipping God and feeling confused. After I had posted this post a few months earlier, and had been in belief that God could and had healed me I felt totally lost and confused when I got sick again in April and I felt as though something had been robbed of me. My confusion was great and I felt as though I was serving what might have been a powerless God. Then the man came over to me and said I would really like to pray for you would that be alright?

I shrugged saying yes, because I felt as though I could take any prayer I could get even though in my heart I didn't think God would even think of healing a girl like myself anymore. I felt unworthy and unloved. Robbed of a miracle... And just at my most desperate time when I had totally sunk into whatever God would have for me and whatever He wanted to do in my life... He showed me that when I submit to Him He does provide. The man laid hands on my legs right where the coldness started and heat returned to my legs! He prayed and prayed like I had never seen before and soon my legs felt more normal than ever. Then when he quit praying he looked up to me and took both of my hands in his. He said, lets see what God can do! With a little hesitation as if to think, God, I do not want to look foolish or make you look bad if I should stumble and fall and am not healed...

I was nervous as to what this could mean. In just a few moments, I took steps with little to no assistance and then I was walking! I was walking without anything at all! As I walked, I knew something was different and I didn't know what it could possibly be. I kept walking around and thinking something is different. That's when I realized, I was walking without any pain at all. It felt heavenly, or the most heavenly I had felt on earth. My body felt like it was brand new and I couldn't believe it. I had been healed by the great and powerful God that we all talk about but don't expect to do miracles. We say God can do these incredible things, yet we do not show others what He can do and we fear actually expecting a miracle. I was healed by the Everlasting God.

As I went to the doctors they started noticing that I was doing better un-explainable amount better. My specialist told me, never have I met a girl in all of my practice who went to death's door: knocked at it, opened it up a little and peered inside, then slammed it shut and walked away as though nothing happened. My heart was beating regularly, my body was functioning at all of the ways it was intended to... And to be honest no one knew why or could explain what had happened.

Then I began to be fearful of sharing my testimony of healing in fear of being mocked or misunderstood and I fell silent. However, a year later, I have lived the life of a healed girl. The more I have discerned God's will for my life and prayed the more I believe God is at an awesome work within my life. There have been times when I have fallen or struggled but today, more than ever, I believe, and know within my heart that I am Lyme disease free! This summer, I have finished taking all of my medicine and went from a girl who was taking 50-60 pills a day and doing IV's to IV free with an empty pill box. My IV antibiotics went off to a third world country this past week to send healing to the people there... I am truly blessed and astounded by the work God has done within my life and in the lives of those around me.

I have found that sometimes we put God in a box, and we make the God we serve a reflection of man instead of us being a reflection of God. I am starting to realize that it's not about having a fallen earth while we're here but it's about bringing God's kingdom to earth. It's about realizing that we're built to expect the supernatural and to begin praying and seeing the supernatural happen here on earth. What is in heaven can be, and should be here on earth. I am a blessed daughter of an incredible King! And I intend to continue living out a testimony of that because most of all, I long to reflect God and his goodness.

Today my life looks pretty average to most... I am working full time and I am running on our college Cross Country team. I am striving to get good grades and do everything I can to glorify God in my every action. However, inside me and those who know my whole story from day one, I can say that God has done an incredible work in my life and the only reason my life looks pretty average today is because God did something pretty supernatural in my life a little over a year ago. And that to me, has been the best gift I could have ever been given.

I felt it was about time that I posted my true and honest testimony on here.

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God" Romans 12:2. May we truly be transformed in our lives to pray for the supernatural and live knowing that we serve a God that is greater and His will is powerful and healing.

4 comments:

debbie said...

this was great Tori

Grateful2God...! said...

Thanks for posting this, and for witnessing to the power of God to heal so wonderfully. I love your insight that "we make the God we serve a reflection of man instead of us being a reflection of God". That's a gem and, I feel, a key to healing. Godspeed!

Sandi said...

Thanks for your courage! Your story is very humbling.

Anonymous said...

Check out the sweet post made by someone who was inspired by your story.
http://christiansciencecomsuk.wordpress.com/2010/09/02/prayer-for-healing-narrative-1-a-teenager-healed-of-sepsis/