Thursday, March 17, 2011


So it seems as though for the first time in a long time... I have not really had any difficulties with my Lyme disease in quite awhile. Things had been going really well for a few months. Well, much to my dismay things have been increasingly difficult in the last month or so. It started with a conversation while studying for a test with a pretty good friend of mine... We were talking about the test and I began to lament about how slow my brain felt... And how it might even feel like it did back when I was in high school.

Granted, I was still getting above average grades in most of my classes... I was still doing pretty poorly for me. Today one of my professors took me aside and asked me if I was okay. She told me that she was concerned because my writing had dramatically changed from last semester. She said she didn't understand it. I told her I felt like I was a smart person stuck in a stupid person's body. I have had these very complex thoughts and really understand concepts but I cannot adequately convey them or tell others about them.

I have been very frustrated this semester as I have devoted tons of time to my studies and working hard and it just doesn't seem to be paying off. I continue to work hard but I can't get my thoughts clearly out. I am left in a mess. I feel stuck. I don't know how else to explain it other than I am stuck in a stupid person's body. Hearing someone else notice my difficulty was comforting because I knew it was something real that I was struggling with... Now I believe I will defeat it and I am really praying God will continue to stand by my side as I conquer these new battles.

I just wanted to write a note from my old point of view... And touch base with the fact that though it has been much better there is still a process that must be worked through. However, I am so blessed to be running and biking and doing things. This is minor in the grand scheme of things but frustrating none the less.

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