I have been finding that it's a frequent occurrence around the hospital here. However it doesn't interfere with everything else going on... Well... Maybe... Maybe... It does.
They changed my floor and room today and I think it was almost like ripping my heart out of my chest. I said to my mom it was like taking my family from me. The nurses on that floor have cared for me so much and now I have entered an all adult floor. I type out by the nurses station after my little um, roommate went to sleep. I don't know how to handle having a roommate so close. She has really got me. However she's the sweetest woman I could be blessed with. We chatted for a bit and her name is Florance. She actually grew up with my grandparents. So it made the transition a little easier. I am still scared and nervous. It's like a whole different hospital when you get on the adult floor. It makes me wonder. What would comfort an adult in the hospital? Then I thought maybe if we just made little felt hearts around 1.5". Maybe they would be comforting... Then no. I think it's the walls they're dark. However they can't do much about that.
I don't know what to think of this new adventure to this new floor and being alone. Being 18. All of these things seem weird to me. I still sing and dance in my head I am still my 14 or 12 year old self. I wonder what would make these other patients feel happy and comfortable on an adult floor. Any ideas? Maybe a card? I don't know. What do you think?
I have been daydreaming mostly about dancing- singing and giggling and watching out my window at the clouds. I love to see. I don't really know where today went but it has went fast and I wonder if I spent it purposefully. It has been a good day- my Pastor explained how to travel the world in prayer. Today I tried it I have prayed all around the world for specific missionaries by name. I should be tired and filled with jet lag but I am excited for what plans God has. I daydream about peace about things that give me hope. Really I just daydream about my graduation party. I want it to be perfect. It's all I am holding onto. What makes you keep through the day?
I watch these nurses and doctors pass me as I write this post and they are all on a mission they have direct paths. What is the purpose I ask? It is not the direction it is the intention. I hope they remember they could be in the place that I am in some day.
To answer the question of device it is my port. It was posted about here and here. Thank you for all of your prayer. I hope you all are continuing to do well.
As I am closing this post I am seeing many things and a woman who passed me passes with a shaved head. Her daughter stated I couldn't believe it was my mom she was bald. The mom looked up and said I am bald?! Really bald? And they reached over and had a sack of hair and said yeah! We have your hair right here... That really surprised me. How interesting and what a job. I cannot imagine having your mother not believe about hair... The lady to my left is confused and sitting in the hall to have company as well but a different kind of company a content kind. She has pulled out her IV she looks around and she fixes her hair. She is someone I don't know but she deserves compassion. These people come from all walks of life and as they show up their pieces of stories put together a jumbled puzzle. I wonder, do the nurses that see these patients notice they have some creative minds, some amazing spirits, and a great amount of history within the halls. Do they appreciate their patients?
It makes me wonder... Here I go daydreaming...