Something interesting has surfaced into my life as of late, I have noticed that within my life and in society my deepest fear is rejection. The rejection of those around me and the loss of community. I have also found that this fear is common in women and young girls no matter what their age. Our hearts long to be desired to be passionately loved and pursued. Not only by physical friendships and love, but also from our maker.
We desire to have an identity beyond our own understanding and we desire even more than that, something we can hold onto. However, when people get close to us we fear they will get so close they will reject us. Every day we wait, on a timetable, to be rejected. Just when they know enough of us they will no longer love us, no longer care, or lose interest. Knowing each other enough. We will no longer be beautiful in their eyes, they will no longer care for us and they won't want to fight for us any longer. We will sin one sin too many, we will say one too many bitter words... Then we will face the ultimate rejection and betrayal.
These deep wounds within our hearts are ultimately holding us into a tight grip and suffocating us from experiencing the great glory and joy that we have been promised. Each day that we cannot receive true love from God and those around us, it takes a little bit away from us. It captures our ability to love others and soon we cannot bless those around us because we are so lost within our own pain and agony... We may not realize that the hurt lies so deep as we manifest the lies we tell ourselves as truth and what we believe. We say we believe that we really have gained too much weight, so- and so really doesn't care any more... The list goes on, we fill our hearts with lies and we lose the truth the love, the glory that has been instilled within us.
As the old adage goes- God doesn't make junk- we just fill our hearts with junk. We must surrender we must defenselessly hand over the things that are not of him. Be purified and re-newed.