Lately even under the influence of wonderful friends and people around me, I have felt really alone in the midst of my greatest beliefs and convictions. Lately more so than ever I have been asking God what it looks like to radically love. One of the deepest desires of my heart is to radically love with everything I have...
There is a quote that was used in a sermon at church recently and it went like this:
"How many people are radically and permanently repelled from the way of Christ by Christians who are unfeeling, stiff, unapproachable, boring, lifeless, obsessive and dissatisfied? Yet, such Christians are everywhere and what they're missing is the wholesome liveliness springing up from a balanced vitality within God's loving rule." - Dallas Willard
We all have these boundary markers as it was said we have these rules that have nothing to do with our faith that have made things seem like if you do something like that it's practically a sin. Some examples are you're not a Christian if you listen to anything other than Christian music... Though that may be a personal conviction that God has set on your heart, it doesn't mean it's a conviction that is set on everyone's hearts. The problem is not what convictions lie on your heart but it's when convictions that are not biblical become other people's convictions because of you. That's when there is a problem. So when you're pressing what God is doing in your life on every one elses lives so to speak...
I know that lately this has been somewhat of an issue for me and also something I am struggling with on the part of others. Everyone seems to think they know what's best for me and everyone wants to tell me how to deal with my ex, he doesn't deserve this or that, and I shouldn't do this or that. It also goes a bit further, at work I have been challenged with the people around me and their jokes and the hurtful words that they say... The attitudes that people have in the stores. It seems like God has made me become an ultra sensitive person to the harden hearted people around me and their carnal desires.
I have been seeking God and his will and desires and it makes me realize that yes, I could be mean or close myself off but lately, it has been much harder to love selflessly and be a woman of God in a lot of places in my life. I have felt like it's almost a little challenge I have but it's funny, when I pray for God to give me the strength I need or to open my eyes... I do feel peace and I know it's of Him. I don't know, I guess I look around and I see my Christ loving friends and it seems like everyone is looking to me to seek revenge or to quit showing love that I show to everyone. I guess in my heart I long to do that, but even more than that bitterness I feel like it's trying so hard when I am mean or I reject... It's not what I am wired to do. It shouldn't be what any of us are wired to do.
Sometimes I wonder if we have forgotten, no matter what the past is with the other brothers and sisters in the body of Christ we still must work together towards one common goal and good. I am well aware that forgiveness is not acceptance and that I do not accept things at face value. But at the same time forgiveness is not bitterness and God must heal us totally and restore us to people of Him. Showing "tough" love is quite important... But I think our body of Christ is looking for so many ways and avenues to put this concept of tough love into practice. What ever happened to just pouring out pure love?
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13
I guess I am sick of people putting on faces of great grace and love but not showing it in their daily actions.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Oh How he Loves us....
God is so faithful, and so incredibly GOOD!
God knows our every movement and he knows the deer of the field as well. I have found confidence in putting my faith into a God that is much bigger than I am. Sunday morning was one for the history books for sure... We hit a deer and it was my first real official car accident and it was the scariest thing I have ever experienced.
However, we were protected and though the car was greatly damaged, I know how bad it could have been and it was so incredibly scary... I found that I had a new comfort in the Lord when I praised in church this Sunday... I knew God had his hand on me and I knew without a doubt that he protected our car after hitting the deer we drove through one of the worst storms I have ever driven through. At times there was zero visibility and it was really black and green in the air. Even then, God was with us.
I guess this Sunday after all of the happenings, I was thankful to be alive, but even more than that I was thankful to know I serve a God much bigger than me. This week has been a battle for me and it seems like it comes from all sides and when I am least expecting it, God reminds me of his faithfulness and love. Sometimes it's in the quiet of the day, or in an infant's cry, and most of all it's in the every day things of life it seems. I have found that more and more it's like even in the "missed" opportunities, God is providing in other ways, and greater ways than I could even know.
To update even further on my life, I have started working at the local hospital and it's totally what I believe I am supposed to be doing right now. I had much reservation about this summer and my plans. I felt like everything was too much, I was bogged down it was too crazy and I couldn't do it. However, God has reminded me that I am right... I cannot do it. It's through Him that I am able. And for this I am forever grateful. It's encouraging for me to know that things are coming to an understanding that I believe I know... This summer I will be growing through the Chronicles of a Clinical Assistant. What there is to see and do on the forefront of the hospital lines, tackling apathy, anguish, and awe, on a daily basis. This is my mission that the Lord has given me and what shall I do? Just as the Lord requires of me to act justly, and to love mercy and to walk humbly before our God (revised from Micah 6:8). I am incredibly excited and I know that God is opening hearts and doors to experience His love.
God knows our every movement and he knows the deer of the field as well. I have found confidence in putting my faith into a God that is much bigger than I am. Sunday morning was one for the history books for sure... We hit a deer and it was my first real official car accident and it was the scariest thing I have ever experienced.
However, we were protected and though the car was greatly damaged, I know how bad it could have been and it was so incredibly scary... I found that I had a new comfort in the Lord when I praised in church this Sunday... I knew God had his hand on me and I knew without a doubt that he protected our car after hitting the deer we drove through one of the worst storms I have ever driven through. At times there was zero visibility and it was really black and green in the air. Even then, God was with us.
I guess this Sunday after all of the happenings, I was thankful to be alive, but even more than that I was thankful to know I serve a God much bigger than me. This week has been a battle for me and it seems like it comes from all sides and when I am least expecting it, God reminds me of his faithfulness and love. Sometimes it's in the quiet of the day, or in an infant's cry, and most of all it's in the every day things of life it seems. I have found that more and more it's like even in the "missed" opportunities, God is providing in other ways, and greater ways than I could even know.
To update even further on my life, I have started working at the local hospital and it's totally what I believe I am supposed to be doing right now. I had much reservation about this summer and my plans. I felt like everything was too much, I was bogged down it was too crazy and I couldn't do it. However, God has reminded me that I am right... I cannot do it. It's through Him that I am able. And for this I am forever grateful. It's encouraging for me to know that things are coming to an understanding that I believe I know... This summer I will be growing through the Chronicles of a Clinical Assistant. What there is to see and do on the forefront of the hospital lines, tackling apathy, anguish, and awe, on a daily basis. This is my mission that the Lord has given me and what shall I do? Just as the Lord requires of me to act justly, and to love mercy and to walk humbly before our God (revised from Micah 6:8). I am incredibly excited and I know that God is opening hearts and doors to experience His love.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Who is doing the gardening?
Recently as I was doing article reviews for a class I came across this little parable of sorts:
The story is told of a church–going farmer who was complimented by a
fellow congregant, “That is a fine garden you and the Lord have
there, brother.” To this, the old farmer replied, “Yes, but you should
have seen what it looked like when the Lord was doing the gardening
alone.”
The idea I got behind this whole concept was what does it look like when God is doing our gardening on his own? For God creates beautiful plants and everything else but we must continue to weed them and nurture them and look over our own gardens. I have found that in relationships and in other courses of life we tend to expect God to do our weeding. Slowly prayer becomes more about fix this or transform that: We begin bargaining with God. If you want this to work God, please make the person see my side of things.
As we pray I believe we need to remember what we are praying for and be careful of our wording changing the wording from making the person see things the way you do to praying for a softened heart is a lot different. God wants us to rely on Him and His power and glory above all else and in the end it's about co-laboring versus carrying the yoke by ourselves or expecting God to pick up all of the weeding alone.
If we really put our relationship with God in a human sense, it's easy to see that doing the mundane tasks of every day are a lot more fun and pass quickly when done with others. The old adage many hands make light work, so wouldn't it be the same that as we're weeding our lives out and picking out the bad and replacing things that could be harmful with good rich soil that we would do it with God? Discuss things with Him, wrestle with Him, and ultimately try to seek His will above all else. As we "garden" our lives it will go a lot faster and easier if we talk and keep constant communication with our creator.
When God does things on His own totally the garden may get filled with weeds and other things because God's original intention for man was to be in constant relationship with Him. As we explore the very beginning of Genesis it might be easy to imagine that after the first few days before the fall of man, Adam and Eve would chill with God and discuss their day with Him. Just spending time with their creator and sharing the excitement of all of the new discoveries they had made.
Taking our lives to a deeper level and exploring the heart of God will only cause us to take our own lives to a deeper level and explore our own hearts. Sometimes that comes in silent reflection and other times it comes with the bible or prayer... However, in the end we must remind ourselves our heart is still the dwelling place of the holy spirit so when we begin to seek deep within ourselves chances are, we'll run into our maker.
The story is told of a church–going farmer who was complimented by a
fellow congregant, “That is a fine garden you and the Lord have
there, brother.” To this, the old farmer replied, “Yes, but you should
have seen what it looked like when the Lord was doing the gardening
alone.”
The idea I got behind this whole concept was what does it look like when God is doing our gardening on his own? For God creates beautiful plants and everything else but we must continue to weed them and nurture them and look over our own gardens. I have found that in relationships and in other courses of life we tend to expect God to do our weeding. Slowly prayer becomes more about fix this or transform that: We begin bargaining with God. If you want this to work God, please make the person see my side of things.
As we pray I believe we need to remember what we are praying for and be careful of our wording changing the wording from making the person see things the way you do to praying for a softened heart is a lot different. God wants us to rely on Him and His power and glory above all else and in the end it's about co-laboring versus carrying the yoke by ourselves or expecting God to pick up all of the weeding alone.
If we really put our relationship with God in a human sense, it's easy to see that doing the mundane tasks of every day are a lot more fun and pass quickly when done with others. The old adage many hands make light work, so wouldn't it be the same that as we're weeding our lives out and picking out the bad and replacing things that could be harmful with good rich soil that we would do it with God? Discuss things with Him, wrestle with Him, and ultimately try to seek His will above all else. As we "garden" our lives it will go a lot faster and easier if we talk and keep constant communication with our creator.
When God does things on His own totally the garden may get filled with weeds and other things because God's original intention for man was to be in constant relationship with Him. As we explore the very beginning of Genesis it might be easy to imagine that after the first few days before the fall of man, Adam and Eve would chill with God and discuss their day with Him. Just spending time with their creator and sharing the excitement of all of the new discoveries they had made.
Taking our lives to a deeper level and exploring the heart of God will only cause us to take our own lives to a deeper level and explore our own hearts. Sometimes that comes in silent reflection and other times it comes with the bible or prayer... However, in the end we must remind ourselves our heart is still the dwelling place of the holy spirit so when we begin to seek deep within ourselves chances are, we'll run into our maker.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
How can we go wrong with love?
The past few weeks I have been ever increasingly aware of the word love. We focus on it in society in a number of different ways and we make it the center of a lot of movies and plots. There are constantly allusions to love and when it comes down to it, we all want to feel it.
Biblically, Jesus states it is the greatest commandment, to love our neighbor as ourselves. In Ephesians in reference to marriage Paul states: After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body.
So it is the question of my heart as a woman, how can we go wrong with love and pouring out love? How can loving someone with complete and total selfless love be un-biblical? Well, being totally selfless can lead down a path of destruction just as equally as being selfish to your own body. Proverbs 4:23 states: Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
It is easy to read those words and believe that you are doing so and still be blind to the road of destruction you are being led to. Personally, I have found myself struggling with this path of finding truth and living it out. So much comes from the heart and lives within our hearts, and when we are not focused on God: satan can be deceitful within our hearts.
In Mark 7: 17- 23 comes this story: After he had left the crowd and entered the house, his disciples asked him about this parable. "Are you so dull?" he asked. "Don't you see that nothing that enters a man from the outside can make him 'unclean'? For it doesn't go into his heart but into his stomach, and then out of his body." (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods "clean.")
He went on: "What comes out of a man is what makes him 'unclean.' For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean.' "
This is how we can go wrong with love, our hearts can get confused and fogged up as the unclean fills our heart and we mistake the wickedness within our hearts for love. We mistake lust for love and our carnality begins to take over our lives. Impure and ashamed we find that people around us are seeing us as great people of character and of noble qualities but inside God knows our truest hearts and He sees our struggles with the pain of sin and the battle we face against the inward sin. I find it interesting that we look to Catholicism and we place blame on them for having idols made of clay when we look at their statues that they have outside their places of worship. But I believe as a Christian church we have done something even more dangerous than that, we have looked around to man and we have seen people that we look up to and we have placed them on a pedestal within our own lives.
Those people have become our reflection of Christ. The scary thing is, we begin to fear what others would begin to think of us more than we fear Christ... We know that God can forgive us but we don't dare tell those closest to us, we hide deeper and deeper and try to protect our dignity on the level of earth as our lives spiral out of control before our eyes. Soon our hearts that were filled with excitement for the growth of church find it harder and harder to look forward to prayer. We find things that were once joyful now just a burden on our hearts and we become bitter. I guess before you know it, you feel like you never truly were happy and that the idea of true love and happiness in anything is just a myth or a story tale.
We don't look to Christ for our vision, we look to those around us... We cover our eyes and we try to hide behind layers of sin and apathy. The sin becomes easier to do and there is no accountability and it just doesn't seem like it's really as bad as everyone made it out to be in the first place. Confession becomes harder because as you hide in the shadows and no one finds out about the trouble you're facing. It's easier and easier to put a false mask upon your face and be the Christian everyone expects you to be. Your relationship with Christ is sincere in the sense you love Him and are passionately in love with Him... But at the very same time, you are aware that you aren't being honest with Him and that you just continue to repent and repeat the actions again... No boundaries, no accountability and now you just don't care.
I guess right now in my faith walk, this is the scariest thing to me is how easy it is to hide. We can walk around wearing masks and no one asks any questions... No one tries to pry and then when people do pry, we find it easier and easier to build up anger and lies and frustration and slowly the people who care most for us are exhausted and give up. Maybe that song, slow fade isn't such a crazy concept but something that I know I have experienced in my own life... One morning, you wake up, and you have become someone you never expected you would be. You don't know who Christ is anymore and your best friend isn't God... You have faded away and no one stopped you. For me, it took one encounter to begin re-evaluating my life... But it's a process to continue searching and begin a relationship with God again.
I plan on continuing to blog as my heart is broken and restored... I believe the church needs to rise, they need to come behind it's people, and above all else we must realize there is no pedestal to place it's members we are all part of the same body and we all fall, fail, and need a cover of love and compassion. Just as the Lord has forgiven us we shall forgive our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Biblically, Jesus states it is the greatest commandment, to love our neighbor as ourselves. In Ephesians in reference to marriage Paul states: After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body.
So it is the question of my heart as a woman, how can we go wrong with love and pouring out love? How can loving someone with complete and total selfless love be un-biblical? Well, being totally selfless can lead down a path of destruction just as equally as being selfish to your own body. Proverbs 4:23 states: Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
It is easy to read those words and believe that you are doing so and still be blind to the road of destruction you are being led to. Personally, I have found myself struggling with this path of finding truth and living it out. So much comes from the heart and lives within our hearts, and when we are not focused on God: satan can be deceitful within our hearts.
In Mark 7: 17- 23 comes this story: After he had left the crowd and entered the house, his disciples asked him about this parable. "Are you so dull?" he asked. "Don't you see that nothing that enters a man from the outside can make him 'unclean'? For it doesn't go into his heart but into his stomach, and then out of his body." (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods "clean.")
He went on: "What comes out of a man is what makes him 'unclean.' For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean.' "
This is how we can go wrong with love, our hearts can get confused and fogged up as the unclean fills our heart and we mistake the wickedness within our hearts for love. We mistake lust for love and our carnality begins to take over our lives. Impure and ashamed we find that people around us are seeing us as great people of character and of noble qualities but inside God knows our truest hearts and He sees our struggles with the pain of sin and the battle we face against the inward sin. I find it interesting that we look to Catholicism and we place blame on them for having idols made of clay when we look at their statues that they have outside their places of worship. But I believe as a Christian church we have done something even more dangerous than that, we have looked around to man and we have seen people that we look up to and we have placed them on a pedestal within our own lives.
Those people have become our reflection of Christ. The scary thing is, we begin to fear what others would begin to think of us more than we fear Christ... We know that God can forgive us but we don't dare tell those closest to us, we hide deeper and deeper and try to protect our dignity on the level of earth as our lives spiral out of control before our eyes. Soon our hearts that were filled with excitement for the growth of church find it harder and harder to look forward to prayer. We find things that were once joyful now just a burden on our hearts and we become bitter. I guess before you know it, you feel like you never truly were happy and that the idea of true love and happiness in anything is just a myth or a story tale.
We don't look to Christ for our vision, we look to those around us... We cover our eyes and we try to hide behind layers of sin and apathy. The sin becomes easier to do and there is no accountability and it just doesn't seem like it's really as bad as everyone made it out to be in the first place. Confession becomes harder because as you hide in the shadows and no one finds out about the trouble you're facing. It's easier and easier to put a false mask upon your face and be the Christian everyone expects you to be. Your relationship with Christ is sincere in the sense you love Him and are passionately in love with Him... But at the very same time, you are aware that you aren't being honest with Him and that you just continue to repent and repeat the actions again... No boundaries, no accountability and now you just don't care.
I guess right now in my faith walk, this is the scariest thing to me is how easy it is to hide. We can walk around wearing masks and no one asks any questions... No one tries to pry and then when people do pry, we find it easier and easier to build up anger and lies and frustration and slowly the people who care most for us are exhausted and give up. Maybe that song, slow fade isn't such a crazy concept but something that I know I have experienced in my own life... One morning, you wake up, and you have become someone you never expected you would be. You don't know who Christ is anymore and your best friend isn't God... You have faded away and no one stopped you. For me, it took one encounter to begin re-evaluating my life... But it's a process to continue searching and begin a relationship with God again.
I plan on continuing to blog as my heart is broken and restored... I believe the church needs to rise, they need to come behind it's people, and above all else we must realize there is no pedestal to place it's members we are all part of the same body and we all fall, fail, and need a cover of love and compassion. Just as the Lord has forgiven us we shall forgive our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Beautiful
Deep within the souls of so many little girls there is a longing for their father to just tell them that they are beautiful. They put on dresses, and twirl and spin longing to hear their father say just once, how precious they are to them.
Over time little girls don't hear that word enough, that they are beautiful, precious, and something special. I think our culture has found a way to make everyone feel uncomfortable in who they are and what they do. They slowly they begin to believe the lies of the world, that they are junk that they are too fat or too skinny and they will never quite be enough. They either protect their hearts with steel or they protect them too softly and let the wrong people in or let no one in at all.
Slowly, we need to Come to Jesus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_4g8_e16dc.
In the past few days I feel as though I have experienced first hand how horrible and wicked sin can be. God truly has something special when he looks at marriage and what it is meant to be. He has a special plan and a special masterpiece that he intends. I really believe that if you rush things that are not supposed to be- or if you don't listen intently to the Lord's planning you may find that you are following a path of un-righteousness that can lead to a broken heart and poor feelings. Though God has grace you must carry the wrath of the sin that you have done. We must follow out his will accordingly.
In Song of Songs it states: 8:14 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
I believe that is a context and a statement that as a society we are missing. We are missing how pure and beautiful God has intended love to be. Through our sins and through giving our pain and misery to others and not handing it over to God we are suffering great sin and great turmoil within our souls. It is saddening, and through those sins we must suffer the feeling of a broken heart and the feelings of I have done no right...
My prayer for the women and men reading this today is that:
Dear Lord,
Protect the innocence they still contain. Please dear God, show them your truth. Protecting them from the temptations of the evils of this world. Dear God, let them make time for you, let them fall passionately in love with you all over again, and let them just see your light and truth. Dear God, if they have had sin in the past that has lead them to a place of confusion or destruction, I ask that you heal them. I ask that you give them a peace that transcends all understanding. Let them know they are good enough and worthy of your love and guide them into a path of righteousness. Hold your children dear today, as you have held us all hold us in your hand and set us apart for our individual life journeys. God Bless us, and forgive us.
In your name,
Amen
Over time little girls don't hear that word enough, that they are beautiful, precious, and something special. I think our culture has found a way to make everyone feel uncomfortable in who they are and what they do. They slowly they begin to believe the lies of the world, that they are junk that they are too fat or too skinny and they will never quite be enough. They either protect their hearts with steel or they protect them too softly and let the wrong people in or let no one in at all.
Slowly, we need to Come to Jesus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_4g8_e16dc.
In the past few days I feel as though I have experienced first hand how horrible and wicked sin can be. God truly has something special when he looks at marriage and what it is meant to be. He has a special plan and a special masterpiece that he intends. I really believe that if you rush things that are not supposed to be- or if you don't listen intently to the Lord's planning you may find that you are following a path of un-righteousness that can lead to a broken heart and poor feelings. Though God has grace you must carry the wrath of the sin that you have done. We must follow out his will accordingly.
In Song of Songs it states: 8:14 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
I believe that is a context and a statement that as a society we are missing. We are missing how pure and beautiful God has intended love to be. Through our sins and through giving our pain and misery to others and not handing it over to God we are suffering great sin and great turmoil within our souls. It is saddening, and through those sins we must suffer the feeling of a broken heart and the feelings of I have done no right...
My prayer for the women and men reading this today is that:
Dear Lord,
Protect the innocence they still contain. Please dear God, show them your truth. Protecting them from the temptations of the evils of this world. Dear God, let them make time for you, let them fall passionately in love with you all over again, and let them just see your light and truth. Dear God, if they have had sin in the past that has lead them to a place of confusion or destruction, I ask that you heal them. I ask that you give them a peace that transcends all understanding. Let them know they are good enough and worthy of your love and guide them into a path of righteousness. Hold your children dear today, as you have held us all hold us in your hand and set us apart for our individual life journeys. God Bless us, and forgive us.
In your name,
Amen
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Community
I read a post under this title here.
But I think it's true our generation is a generation of community and justice. We seek to have that provision of some sort of feeling that we have done good. Some call it what is our natural need but I believe God is moving for something larger in our generation.
Last night I went on a prayer walk and we ended up at the high school, we talked about the messes that are being dealt with at younger and younger ages. Kids in 3rd and 4th grade are being approached to smoke pot, do other drugs or have sex. Kids are having sex. That to me is extremely scary and upsetting in a lot of ways. I fear that the passion that is within our hearts will be extinguished if we don't take active steps as Christians to stand strong with them.
I cannot stand this apathy that has come over us we are giving way to satan by not standing strong in love and compassion for our fellow neighbors. We all look to the future and the things that we can do for missions trips, or festivals that are full of God... What happens when those days are too far away, what happens when our neighbors need loving people to step forward and take their children to church, to step forward when emergencies arise and watch them when you cannot? Are we really rising to the challenge of loving every single day as Christ loved?
What if we really did love every day like Christ loves us with no regard and no confusion just prayed to God for that love and freely gave it? I believe that is what needs to happen. We cannot let walls divide us, we cannot let fear rise within us. We must walk freely in the name of Christ.
I see the urgency in the hearts of my friends when we talk about big issues, the people of God are not sure what to do but above all else what happened to falling flat on our faces before our beloved father? We must remember and go back to our roots being fervent in prayer and thanksgiving. Praising the God who gives and takes away. He is so powerful and there is great power in HIS name. We need to be a church on fire once again. I am currently evaluating my life and wondering, what that means for me.
In closing a song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d61LamkXfwk. If you're in the Horseheads area and would like to pray for our town, please facebook me- we are going to try to meet by the High School and pray weekly if possible!
But I think it's true our generation is a generation of community and justice. We seek to have that provision of some sort of feeling that we have done good. Some call it what is our natural need but I believe God is moving for something larger in our generation.
Last night I went on a prayer walk and we ended up at the high school, we talked about the messes that are being dealt with at younger and younger ages. Kids in 3rd and 4th grade are being approached to smoke pot, do other drugs or have sex. Kids are having sex. That to me is extremely scary and upsetting in a lot of ways. I fear that the passion that is within our hearts will be extinguished if we don't take active steps as Christians to stand strong with them.
I cannot stand this apathy that has come over us we are giving way to satan by not standing strong in love and compassion for our fellow neighbors. We all look to the future and the things that we can do for missions trips, or festivals that are full of God... What happens when those days are too far away, what happens when our neighbors need loving people to step forward and take their children to church, to step forward when emergencies arise and watch them when you cannot? Are we really rising to the challenge of loving every single day as Christ loved?
What if we really did love every day like Christ loves us with no regard and no confusion just prayed to God for that love and freely gave it? I believe that is what needs to happen. We cannot let walls divide us, we cannot let fear rise within us. We must walk freely in the name of Christ.
I see the urgency in the hearts of my friends when we talk about big issues, the people of God are not sure what to do but above all else what happened to falling flat on our faces before our beloved father? We must remember and go back to our roots being fervent in prayer and thanksgiving. Praising the God who gives and takes away. He is so powerful and there is great power in HIS name. We need to be a church on fire once again. I am currently evaluating my life and wondering, what that means for me.
In closing a song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d61LamkXfwk. If you're in the Horseheads area and would like to pray for our town, please facebook me- we are going to try to meet by the High School and pray weekly if possible!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Worse than a first date with a BOY
The jitters before my very first professional job interview were overwhelming. I found myself searching my mind to get everything done just before the interview, searching for my certificate of residency for summer courses getting it faxed, getting other errands ran including fixing a wrong that needed to be made right with a shipping mix up.
I found myself changing into a dress and stockings, slipping on some flats and walking into the bathroom to get ready the rest of the way. Pinning back my hair, and getting ready to do my make-up. I then sighed and realized the stress of getting all of this done was worse than any pre-date jitters that I had ever had previously. I felt like the weight of getting this job was weighing on my shoulders. After feeling under-qualified for the job with little previous experience, I knew the impression would weigh solely in the presentation I gave at the interview. I was ready to give it my all.
I found myself arriving home after the interview with a sigh of relief as it went well, and things look promising since I was asked on multiple occasions if I would be ready to start on June 7th. Then I was asked if they could contact previous employers and references. This was the start to something new, a new chapter of my life when I began working.
Then the option came to take on another job, a second job on top of my first 40 hour work week job. The question was a question of will and wits for me and not could I, but WOULD I do it? The answer came with no. I was faced with that difficult decision, and I chose no. However, this morning in my morning devotional I was reminded of this passage in scripture: "You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42 (NIV). It reminded me that God is a jealous God, he wants to fight for our time and he wants our time. He passionately seeks us out and tries to understand what we are doing. He wants us to come to him with our burdens and lay them at his feet. Most of all, he wants us to love HIM and love Him above all else. Not to toil over the many things of this world but to find refuge in the fact that God himself not only cares about us but wants our attention and will then in return love us and provide for us above all else.
So when he says you are worried and upset over many things but only one thing is needed... It makes me think, what am I worrying about that could be and needs to be forgotten. Is it finances for college? Is it my relationships? Is it my sins? Where can the healing begin, and where am I holding back?
But Jesus told Martha that it was Mary who had put her relationship with the Lord first in her life. "'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her'" (Luke 10:41-42,NIV).
If you know the story, Martha is busy preparing and being the hostess for the Lord, she is busying making sure everything is okay and looks perfect. And when it doesn't really matter. I feel that right now in my life, this is convicting. I would be the one who would be busying myself with everything under the sun and not looking to the Lord. It makes me ask myself- why am I busy with the things I am busy with? What is this doing to better the kingdom of God? I don't claim to understand why a lot of things happen but I do know that in order for me to go into missions, to be able to live a life of total healing from my past, and to really live fully. I need to be convicted of the hardest things and understand my battle is constant but so is God's love. It's never failing, and his will is above all else. Forever.
I found myself changing into a dress and stockings, slipping on some flats and walking into the bathroom to get ready the rest of the way. Pinning back my hair, and getting ready to do my make-up. I then sighed and realized the stress of getting all of this done was worse than any pre-date jitters that I had ever had previously. I felt like the weight of getting this job was weighing on my shoulders. After feeling under-qualified for the job with little previous experience, I knew the impression would weigh solely in the presentation I gave at the interview. I was ready to give it my all.
I found myself arriving home after the interview with a sigh of relief as it went well, and things look promising since I was asked on multiple occasions if I would be ready to start on June 7th. Then I was asked if they could contact previous employers and references. This was the start to something new, a new chapter of my life when I began working.
Then the option came to take on another job, a second job on top of my first 40 hour work week job. The question was a question of will and wits for me and not could I, but WOULD I do it? The answer came with no. I was faced with that difficult decision, and I chose no. However, this morning in my morning devotional I was reminded of this passage in scripture: "You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42 (NIV). It reminded me that God is a jealous God, he wants to fight for our time and he wants our time. He passionately seeks us out and tries to understand what we are doing. He wants us to come to him with our burdens and lay them at his feet. Most of all, he wants us to love HIM and love Him above all else. Not to toil over the many things of this world but to find refuge in the fact that God himself not only cares about us but wants our attention and will then in return love us and provide for us above all else.
So when he says you are worried and upset over many things but only one thing is needed... It makes me think, what am I worrying about that could be and needs to be forgotten. Is it finances for college? Is it my relationships? Is it my sins? Where can the healing begin, and where am I holding back?
But Jesus told Martha that it was Mary who had put her relationship with the Lord first in her life. "'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her'" (Luke 10:41-42,NIV).
If you know the story, Martha is busy preparing and being the hostess for the Lord, she is busying making sure everything is okay and looks perfect. And when it doesn't really matter. I feel that right now in my life, this is convicting. I would be the one who would be busying myself with everything under the sun and not looking to the Lord. It makes me ask myself- why am I busy with the things I am busy with? What is this doing to better the kingdom of God? I don't claim to understand why a lot of things happen but I do know that in order for me to go into missions, to be able to live a life of total healing from my past, and to really live fully. I need to be convicted of the hardest things and understand my battle is constant but so is God's love. It's never failing, and his will is above all else. Forever.
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