Monday, June 30, 2008


If you always view your body in normalcy you'll never notice the flaws.

Today as I slowly pick apart my past and read journal entry after journal entry through joy and sorrow I feel the emotions of each moment flash before my eyes. Each time flash before me thinking feeling what was there. I was frustrated a lot of the time but found normalcy in my state of being. I found what wasn't normal to be okay and ventured on into life. It was how I coped through the hard times and the not so hard times. It was how I dealt with life as it was handed to me.

Now people ask me my perspective as I have badgered many friends over and over for their perspective. Receiving interesting, heart wrenching stories of how they dealt with what was happening to me and how they deal with what goes on in their own lives.

So now after months of pushing these thoughts over I have decided to give my perspective. A dry thought on life in my body.

In my life as I go through a day to day basis I try to connect with the things going on around me.
I think this helps everything seem normal especially with music.

I think what I can relate most with right now. Is the song Superman by Five for Fighting.

"It is not easy to be me."

Although I don't find it all to relate to every single thing that goes on in my life or how it unfolds but I do believe a majority of my life is based upon finding relations between things. I glue together lives and pieces of a puzzle so I can see a greater picture. When I see the greater picture I find security and strength in what I do. So my perspective is that life will never be easy there will always be a thorn in the road even if your path has just smoothed out but-

none the less you live for yourself and those who love you- you do not live for moments in time.

I would like to spot-light a special little girl today who has tried her hardest to be a big girl.

Her name? Danica Lynch:
As I am the youngest in my family, youngest child youngest granddaughter and always forced to "grow up". Now with this disease I was forced to reach out of my comfort zone and grow up a little more. Danica has been helping with the Lyme walk stuff and even helped sort the many t-shirts that were ordered! Her helping heart is amazing and she's an awesome kid. She always has something to say but tries her best to be on her best behavior even though it's difficult to ask a younger child to sit still while everyone talks. So I would like to spot-light Danica and say her efforts of being a big kid have not gone unnoticed.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Victoria,


Thats a broad and deep subject depending on your perspective of the question :-)

My perspective- today Im sitting in my desk chair waiting for a call from a fellow Lyme sufferer who I met online. Weve been a blessing to each other in many ways.

The most important is our Christian fellowship and lifting and encouraging one another.

Yesterday I talked to another very good friend who I also met online, yes, a Lyme sufferer as well. We shared as he told of his struggled with a ruthless disability company.

Monday I had blood levels done on a med/protocal change. It was changed because my brain/neuro issues stopped progressing. Turned out the person drawing my blood also was just diagnosed with Lyme after being sick for 3 years. His doctor only put him on a 30 day dose of doxy...the wonderfuly destructive IDSA guideline. He wa told he'll be all set after that. I was able to direct him to proper information and help about lyme.

I could go on, and on, but rather Ill get to my point.

Gods ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than ours. So many things have happened since Ive been sick, and in my life in general. So what if noone was there to talk to my new Lyme friends? What if I never got sick? What blessings would I or others miss if I could change it all?

I like having God in control, evben though I try to take it back from time to time, even that is somehow a piece to this great puzzle we call His plan for our lives.

"Though He slay me, Yet I will trust Him"

Gods perspective is the one that really matters, finding it and living in His will, now that'
s a journey and adventure!