Thursday, May 8, 2008

Behind that Face.

Behind that face comes a lot of teen things don't get me wrong...
In a world of normalcy there has to be some upset to make you grateful for what you have to feel blessed for the days you live and complete with the desires within.

Tonight- I looked through my journal and I am writing about the things that don't make it to the blog.

Butterflies in my stomach, giggling at the computer screen, and laughing so much more when he's around. I am noticing I have a whole new hope today a whole new perspective something I didn't think could be came to be. Now I am learning things a different way.

Prom is nearing and now is a week away things like a boutonniere and nails, and hairstyles are not a fantasy any longer but now a reality. Prom is coming I have a date perfect in my eyes and perfect for me! Excitement fills my heart as I get ready for the big night and all our schedules are planned around May 17th in the days coming before... Making sure I don't do too much the night before resting as much as I can and taking care of my body as I always do.

Studying is especially hard for me these days I have read the same page for 2.5 weeks, picking up the book to study some more realizing I am no further in the chapter but I don't know what I've read. It's difficult because I don't even remember what I said just hours ago on the phone with my boyfriend... How can it be? I hope he doesn't see- that I am not 100% me!

School papers are being written at a slow steady pace things are being done but not quick enough for me. Slowing down is difficult when there are deadlines to be met and goals to accomplish. Sometimes it's just a little too hard to keep things at ease when they aren't at ease at all.

Behind this teenage face comes so much more than a disease- So for those of you who do not know me but come to this blog for one reason or another, for hope, encouragement, an update of some sort here is a teenage way of putting things about me-

I like to...

Help others
Finger Paint
Eat ice cream- my favorite is soft serve twist with rainbow sprinkles!
Take pictures

I Dislike...

The sound of an emery board
nails on a chalk board
Being competitive

A fast track on the last week-
I have been okay.
Not doing great and struggling with a lot of things. Eating still isn't a top priority to me now more than ever it seems I have been fluctuating with my weight and it's frustrating to see. We're getting some things under control while other things go completely out of control. I am so blessed with the people around me and I am encouraged by others on a daily basis. It's exciting to see my life unfold. Although scary to think what could be next.

I was graced with the song "Gratitude" by Nichole Nordeman
Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed"
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need
So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case . . .


We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You please . . .

This song got me a thinking- If I can't have my 100% health I do have the health I have and I cannot take that for granted for I must keep pushing on and keep what I do have in tip top shape to prepare for whatever may come my way. For God may not send what I ask for but he will send what he believes I need. There has been not a day that I have not had a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, or food on the table and for this I am blessed.

Good Night!


You. Whoever you may be tonight you're in the spot-light. You are in the spot-light for listening to my thoughts to this point to be at the end of the blog and showing your support through reading my blog. Thank you for coming here thank you for being here and the numbers on my little counter show- people are visiting here! I invite you who lurk in the shadows of blog world to come out and say hello! Introduce yourself. Here's to a formal invitation to say hello! :)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I Love your Blog, and this entry is so sweet =) I love the pictures! And I hate the sound of an emery board too...yuck! haha, I have a story to tell you so remind me to tell you. Well later missy!