Sunday, November 23, 2008

I write tonight with an overwhelmed and thankful heart

I don't know why I want to write a blog tonight but I know that I want to-

Have you ever had a moment, day or week that just didn't seem to be going how you thought it would? Did you ever feel left out or lonely?

I have had an overwhelming amount of emotion pouring out of me lately both of thanks, frustration and pain. I can't even begin to explain how much I have been hit with thoughts of getting better if I moved away to a treatment center. Pain in my stomach nothing there, feeling crazy trying to ignore it only to find myself in a deeper world of confusion. I don't really know if there is anything that can explain what I am going through I don't think there is a cure but I do believe in miracles.

I see people sad I see people complain about pain or aches and not feeling like they can stand and I sit and I wonder how much did I gripe and complain before I went through this. Yet I know I still do. I wonder in amazement how much this disease has changed me- how much I love life and notice more and more how short our days are. I just think we can't waste this precious time we do have for it shouldn't be taken for granted. I love life and I love the ability to walk. Today I broke out in a run yes, a run not a short paced thing but a run and it made me feel so full so complete and so blessed. Even last week I don't know if I had the confidence to walk without assistance and now, I am daring to run? Yes, I have fallen and I know it is dangerous to me- but I did it and I felt very accomplished and full. I was quite excited actually. I have also come up with my last two wishes for Christmas.

My biggest wish is to become a better person and seek more in God and less in people. I don't think I need to worry about what others think because it was the people who dared to be different and dared to step in the dark that let light on things that were "impossible". One of the Wright brothers said that he didn't think humans would fly for another 25 years and he contradicted his statement soon after. I am amazed I am at peace and I am finding, I want to share love and peace with others. It is a scary world as I have said before one of quick accusations and few long term friendships. One of hate and accepting of wrong things. I just think in these next few months as my advent to Christmas, instead of a gift to me- I am going to give a gift to others and work to make peace throughout other things.

I just want to say, thank you to the person who made my prayer shawl- thank you to those who have helped me come this far. There have been many who have shaped me and loved me and shown me what true compassion was. Tonight, I have yet another spot-light person

Kori is a lot like me, we joke saying we're like twins. I met her at camp and since then I would consider her my closest friend, mentor and advisor. She is the kindest person she is gentle and she is wonderful in so many ways. She gives me undivided attention and loves me like a sister. She has shown me the world through different eyes, although she is realistic she shows me life through happiness and love. She knows how to make me laugh and she shows me aspects so that I can see things more clearly she defines things and she encourages me to go the extra mile in what I do. She has blessed me with her friendship and I can't even say how thankful I am to have her here for me. She is going to school to be a nursing student and I think she will make a fine one at that- although sometimes she is stressed, she can always make a little time to chat. She is my best friend and I don't know what I would do without her. She is fabulous and she shines through everything she does. Thank you isn't enough but it's all I have- so thanks.

I have one thing I would like to put in lastly, something that weighs very heavy on my heart. I know that I have readers both from near and far and I would like you, if you see this to pray for my small group leader- Jessica. We don't share things out of our small group but this week is going to be stressful for her since she still does have school since she is in college. She is facing things that are going to be difficult for her, I pray for wisdom and peace of mind as she goes through this week. She is a remarkable young lady and she pours her heart out to our small group. She really deserves prayer.

I am thankful for so much I hope you're finding thanks in your life to- God, thank you for my legs and ability to walk, you're my hero.


Kimber said...

Jessica will be in my prayers.

Corinne Rodrigues said...

Hi Vic - there's an 'award' for you waiting on my blog.

With a prayer for you and Jessica.


PS: Sorry a national bird can't be parceled!