Thursday, March 13, 2008

“Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.” - Winnie the Pooh

Okay so I had physical therapy yesterday and there is no way possible I can go on blogging without telling you guys how much fun we have at physical therapy. My physical therapist is Jenn (yes with two n's I double checked just to be sure.)

She isn't even my spot light person but she's a really fun physical therapist. She has slowly been helping me get on track and helping me re-gain muscle tissue. We have done all sorts of things and it's quite a work out! Physical therapy is my favorite place to go and I am not just saying that- it really is the only place that you can go and actually feel and see your improvement from each time you visit. Right now I am going 3 times a week and we have a good time.

We have a good time because of course nothing in my life cannot be a little fun and she's also got a sense of humor. One of my first days I went to physical therapy I walked into the room to see a man wearing exercise gear. I laughed and said that I too wanted exercise gear for physical therapy.

My last session I went with sweats and a t-shirt and each time I go one more "exercise" item will be added. It's funny for us and I can't wait to ditch the walker.

Although going in my sweats this time made me feel a little different walking into my Youth Pastor's office because usually I am a little more dressed up than sweats and a t-shirt. So I just said I had physical therapy! DUH.

These last few days I have been doing a lot of thinking trying to find the real me. I have been doing a lot of different things and doing a lot of listening and a lot of talking.... I really feel the future that I have in store for me is very exciting and I cannot wait to see what happens next. The unknown can be one of two things- For most the unknown is something we fear and are uncertain of but I choose the other choice and I am excited to burst through the unknown doors.

I mean what is honestly so scary about the unknown? Maybe we can't predict it but it is definitely something we can find out about very soon. I am starting to have more confidence and more excitement and I am really excited to see what the future holds.

Lately I have been sleeping a
ton which is part of the reason my blogging has slowed down I sleep almost all the time it seems. I slept last night from right after my IV til 10PM then was back in bed at 1AM then was up at 7 AM then went back to bed and slept til 2PM. All other days have been filled with sleep too. I hope this is my body's way of healing itself and soon I will be back on my feet (without a walker!)

Now I guess this blog wouldn't be complete without sharing the news as of yesterday- As you know I went to meet with my Youth Pastor while I was there I told him about what had been going on in my life what God was doing... He was amazed and I do believe a little teary eyed at points but hey that's okay I have been in the same place sometimes. Now this is where the heavy load was placed. He asked me to speak to our youth group. Now as you may not know I am not very familiar with our youth group so speaking with them makes me a little uneasy but I agreed. Then to top it off he asked me to speak TWICE!

Within the next few weeks I will be speaking to the Junior High kids on Sunday morning then-

All of my friends, and other teens that read my blog mark your calendars- I am also speaking at the Mix: April 27th at 5:57 in the PM at Victory Highway Wesleyan church. ( I am a little antsy but I have a presentation ready to go. So all Senior High Students mark your calenders and come on out. The Mix is a really neat teen driven night at church and even though due to my health I can't go as frequently as I would like it's a lot of fun. There also will be lots of other teens there! Who knows you might even make a friend.

My spot-light person for the day-

This one took some thought. But I believe that Fahris Wyand is my spot-light person for the day. This little girl is 4 years old and has battled more than many 40 year olds. She is a great kid and probably one of the most beautiful children I have seen in my life. If you can get her to smile you will see she a brightened little face and to be honest when I see her smile I can only smile back. We met in Rochester when I was going through the Long Term Monitoring on my brain and Fahris was recovering from heart surgery. I had made all of the kids on the unit get well soon cards and her parents were one of the few that came by to say thank you. Fahris is an inspiration because on the outside she is absolutely perfect 10 fingers 10 toes beautiful blonde hair a cute little giggle and a bit of an attitude. On the inside however she has- Subaortic stenosis, dextrocardia (heart is on the right side of the chest), hypoplastic right heart(underdeveloped rt. ventricle), pulmonary atresia (lacking a pulmonary artery to take blood to the lungs),VSD (a hole between the pumping chambers of the heart, and as if that's not enough her blood return from her lungs was carried to the wrong side of her heart... After I met her family I quickly signed onto my computer and looked up her story and over time I have began reading every journal entry as soon as it is posted excited to see her improvements, and sometimes in tears reading a set-back. Her story gives me hope because despite being so small she has had a huge impact on my life and she is an amazing child. The latest journal entry left me thinking and made me want her to be the person I placed in the spot-light. This girl needs prayer like so many other children and I hope you will add Fahris to your nightly prayer because this girl sure does need it! Below I have placed the journal entry her mother most recently posted:

"Another week is passing and I again finding myself searching for that little glimmer of good this week. How I so desperately wish I could say....Fahris is still doing really well!! She is eating better than ever and slowly gaining back weight and she looks more like herself. Our hospital trips are less and less frequent and everyone is so overjoyed with the progress she is making.
So far from the truth that yes I have tears..a lot of them.
It's Morgan's birthday tomorrow and how hard to believe my "baby" will be 8. She is planning to have a few friends over on Saturday for a sleep over and we will take her out to dinner tomorrow night. We have been very stressed that
Fahris is again showing all the signs we so recognize by now. Hoping she feels better by tomorrow or Friday I will have to have her seen again before the weekend. On Monday there were no surprises. Fluid building up again blah blah blah. We are most concerned that a cardiac catheter is in the near future. As I said it will give the doctors exact measurements of the pressures in her heart and chest which ultimately are the reason we are still dealing with this. We are really struggling..while the doctors want the information this test can give Kevin and I are only agreeing to it because we know Fahris can NOT continue like this. It would be so irresponsible of us not to continue this fight to try to make her better. Kevin said the other night that it's not fair to her to not keep trying...I said What of any of this IS FAIR TO HER!
Anyway I am quite sure you can tell what rare form I am in tonight..It's just been a tough few weeks in particular.
Please continue to send us your messages. I know I might not even know half the people reading this but it means a lot just to know you think of us and
Fahris and say a prayer.

It's amazing how close you can become to complete strangers through sharing stories. I am so grateful for her in my life and thank you all for your support.

I can only hope there are more good days ahead,


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Victoria, You never cease to amaze me. You show such growth and maturity. I know this illness has not been easy on you. You bare your soul in your writings. You are very real. I can't help but think God has a very important plan for you and He is preparing you for it. Keep the faith and know He will not let you down.

Remember "Footprints", that when there are only one set of prints it is because He is carrying you.
He can give you all you need. Make Him your rock, Jesus never fails!
Keep going girl and remember I love you, Aunt Debbie