Yesterday was so busy I am writing this afternoon to bring you up to speed with the past day because to me it seems as though the past day has been many days in one.
Prayers are being answered. I was able to get in to the hospital and get a new picc line placed in only hours after the 3rd one fell out. So I did not miss any treatment and did not fall behind. Thank you for your prayer.
I was so inwardly focused so inward in thoughts I was overwhelmingly outward with my feelings of abandonment. Where I should not place my trust in man but to a greater spirit and not feel betrayed but to feel a greater lesson is learned. Difficult for me because never in a million years if you had asked me in 2004 would I tell you I planned to be walking with a walker, isolated from friends, at the hospital almost daily, receiving an IV and giving it to myself. No this isn't where I would like to be but yes, this is where I am. It has brought me to the bottom and now and only now can it go up. God has really touched me in some VERY big ways in the last few days and it really is all in his hands. The glory is not for me but for him and in a greater way his glory of using me as his vessel. "Yet, O LORD, thou art our Father; we are the clay, and thou art our potter; we are all the work of thy hand. "- Isaiah 64:8
In the morning we had a book meeting for the illustrations of the book that I am doing. It went well and we came up with some brilliant ideas for the book and I am excited to see what is in store. The girls I am working with are really awesome and very talented so I am excited to have this book published and see the finished piece. It is also nice to see the book coming together piece by piece photo by photo.
Then my mother had a jewelry party at the house and we got the necklace and earring set for my prom dress! I am really excited about prom all of a sudden! I think it will be another fun night and it will be nice to be a teen for the evening no thinking about medical things... Little did I know during that jewelry party I wouldn't only be making decisions on what to wear to prom but about going to a concert... We got a phone call that there were about 3 free tickets left to see the tour Boomin' Beyond Measure with- Jeremy Camp and Toby Mac at the First Arena. First of all I knew nothing of the concert and was a little leery but I thought it would be fun and heck it was free! (kinda ironic the local ambulance that takes me when I end up going in the hospital donated these tickets to a local church.)
Not only would this be my first official concert it was also kind of very last minute and I was contacting people just hours before the concert would be beginning! I didn't know who to call or who to turn to... I decided to text Josiah just kinda like hey I am going no matter what now but if you would like to come I have free tickets for the event and since he introduced me to Jeremy Camp I thought he might enjoy it. It was the last thing on my mind he would say yes. But he did and I ended up going to the concert with him. Josiah is my spot-light person for Saturday... (his bio is below)
The evening ended up being extremely moving to me and impacted me in a way beyond words could ever begin to speak. I was truly moved and inspired by the words of each artist. Through the Season of Silence- a testimony by Matthew West to the short words of Jeremy Camp about hearing stories and receiving letters. Everything seemed to fit so perfectly into my life many of the songs were very moving and one was even emotional to me although I had heard them all before seeing the man on stage was quite an experience. I was amazed. This also put me back into the realm of things I felt like a teen for those few hours and although the medical world didn't completely disappear it was almost gone and I was thankful for that. I felt like a teen and there is no word to describe the happiness and joy I felt in my heart. I felt complete and I felt like God had fulfilled my one and only request these last two nights, if he couldn't heal me could he make me feel a little more normal in my situation?
Josiah is a kind and compassionate kid. That's the first word that comes to my mind when I think of him. He puts many in front of his own obstacles and is a wonderful image of a Passionate Christian. We have known each other for years and within the last few months have become closer friends and kind of have tried to learn more about each other. He has helped me with my walk with God and helped me be able to put more faith in God when everyone else was asking why God? Last night, he showed his true colors being kind and attentive as any friend should be and being himself. We kind of got to know each other past IM's and it was nice. I don't think Josiah will ever truly know what the feeling of complete isolation feels like and no, I don't really either because at least I have this computer to keep somewhat in touch... Although I was really down and just being with another teen and being able to be out of the house different scenery and a completely different twist than visiting or your typical hang out setting I was overwhelmed with how nice it felt to be a teen to be freed of that feeling of being left out or missing out on life. It's so hard to see your friends call you or your friends lives seem as though they are passing in front of you as yours seems to stop. He truly made me feel like a teen despite my walker and saw past my "disability" making sure my parents came even though we ended up waiting around 20 minutes. He has helped me over many different obstacles and things that I feel it is only appropriate he is acknowledged for his efforts and I am thankful for this friendship and is well deserving of the title an "inspirational person- living an inspirational life."- Even if he did learn about my short term memory loss! :)
Another post will be posted later on today and today's inspirational person. Thank you for your prayers and support throughout this. Something that is not so much a battle but a journey of faith.